Soft Targets
by blue.ocjian
Summary: Hisana Kuchiki finds her mother’s diary and learns of her mother’s past during a pivotal moment in the history that forever shaped the world and her mother’s life. RenjiXRukia AU, OOC
1. They say with death comes answers

Wars do not span a few years, the effects last a lifetime. After her mother's passing, Hisana Kuchiki comes upon her mother's diary. Through reading it, Hisana learns of her mother's past, her life in another country during a pivotal moment in the history that not only forever shaped the world, but also forever shaped her mother's life. AU, OOC, mentions of war, mature relationships & themes, rating may change to M

ByakuyaxRukia, RenjixRukia; yes that is right, both! This story is intended to be an intense roller coaster ride of emotions! Happy endings are always a guarantee =D

Some things may not be historically accurate. This is not meant in disrespect. I hold very high regard for those who lost their lives in hope that this world could be at peace. WWII was a very tragic moment in history that greatly affected many, including members of my own family. Many innocent lives were lost and I sincerely hope our world never experiences such a great shadow of darkness ever again.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

1 They say with death comes answers

Hisana Kuchiki's mother had passed two weeks ago, at the age of 97. Her father had passed ten years ago. For the first time in her life, Hisana felt truly alone. She was in her late seventies but like her parents had been, in great physical shape and health for her age. Hisana had been a doctor, and even now though retired age lectured at medical school and served on the admissions board. She also still went for her weekly hikes up the local trails.

The worst part of losing someone close to you was sorting through their belongings. Her father had left few belongings when he passed, and what he had left her mother had taken it upon herself to go through. But now it was just her left to look through the material remains of her mother's life. She found practically nothing to do with her mum's childhood, but this was not surprising. Hisana's mother, Rukia, had come to America as a child, at the beginning of the Second World War. The majority of her belongings were left behind. She often wondered what her mother's life had been like before moving here, but had never pestered her with questions. Hisana knew her grandparents had both been killed during the Blitz, and she assumed most of her mother's family had died since they were never mentioned. Hisana had aunts, uncles and cousins here in America, but they were distant and only came around during the holidays.

Hisana took a deep breath before opening the door to her mother's old room. It was surprisingly cold inside. Everything had lost its life when her mother passed. The sun did not seem to shine as it had; life was shaded gray. She wished her younger sister Tatsuki was here to help, but this would surely kill her. Kaien, her eldest brother had he still been alive, would have helped Hisana no problem. He had been killed during the Vietnam War. Hisana always felt her heart ache when she thought of her brother, and how senseless that war was. _Is there sense in any battle?_ She wondered. Maybe, at a time when men fought with honor and not hidden behind bombs and inhumanity.

Looking around the bedroom, Hisana had no clue where to begin. Her mother's death had been quite sudden. It started with a cold, which progressed to a flu and then pneumonia. No one thought it would kill her though, Rukia was a fighter her whole life. _It was just her time._

She decided to go through her mother's closet first, knowing there had to be lots of boxes to go through. Surprisingly though upon opening the closet there was just a single trunk. Hisana got on her knees and opened it. She found lots of photo albums, many of her parent's wedding, Kaien as a baby, her, and Tatsuki. There were some dresses, scarves, letters, postcards, little things here and there. _How can I think to get rid of these?_ Hisana then upon moving some of the stuff around saw a something rectangular within a silk bag. The bag had a diamond charms hanging off the drawstrings. Opening it, Hisana found a notebook inside. It must've been white at some point when it was new, now it was yellowed with age. Opening it up slowly, Hisana read an inscription on the inside:

"To my dearest niece,

Life is very unexpected. Write it down—so when you get to be my age you will remember it all.

Love always,

Aunt Nanao."

Hisana smiled, wondering who this aunt was, figuring it must be an aunt from England. _So this is my mother's diary…_ Hisana turned the next page and saw her mother's first entry:

Aunt Nanao gave me this diary, a travel souvenir from her most recent trip abroad with Uncle Shunsui. I am not sure if I will use this past today… but it would be rude not to at least try. I am really not at all surprised Aunt Nanao gave me this as a gift, she is very meticulous about note keeping. She is a secretary for a very prominent businessman in London. How I wish I lived in London, it seems so much more exciting than here. Alas, until my school is complete I am confined here, this torture chamber of a home. I can never seem to get the recognition or privileges I desire. Silly Ichigo gets to come and go as he pleases, and he is two years my junior! I know it is because I am a woman, an 'aristocrat' as mother so affectionately and proudly puts it. There are certain expectations that accompany this title, I understand, but in all honestly it is nearing the forties! Can society seriously expect women to be confined to the home? Surely I will not have to tolerate such nonsense once I am done schooling. I am going to be a physician! It is not that I do not hold values for family life, but for myself it just would not satisfy me to be perfectly in place in another's puzzle. I feel that education is the key to empowerment and freedom; it is something that I value greatly and hold dearest to my heart. It is something that distinguishes one from others. I greatly do often wish to be apart from others… Well I have written far more than originally intended. Perhaps there is some use for you after all, until then,

Education, Freedom & Summer Snowflakes (my favorite flower)

—Rukia Kurosaki

Hisana felt as though she could faint. These words, these thoughts, had been her mothers' years and years ago… when she was still in England! Who was Ichigo—possibly a brother? Kurosaki… Kurosaki had been her mother's maiden name… It was hard to picture her mother as a young woman in college, with parents, a brother, a differently last name, a different life! She had no idea her mother wanted to be a doctor… Of course she knew her mother was very well educated compared to her friend's mothers. Rukia had always been reading and debating. Hisana felt tears remembering a conversation she had with her mother when she had been debating university… her mother was the reason Hisana went through it all and became a doctor… _she never told me about herself…_

Hisana smiled as she closed the book, intended to respect her mother's private thoughts. As she went to see what else was in the trunk, a forceful breeze blew opening the diary back up… to the next page… Looking around the room, Hisana was at a loss as to where the breeze had come from, all the windows were closed. She closed the diary again and was about to look in the trunk once more when the breeze came again, strong enough to blow Hisana's hair into a mess. Once it settled, she fixed her bangs from her face and slowly looked at the book, again it was open to the following page. It was if her mother was in the room when she swore she heard her voice 'Go ahead… Hisana…' Shaking, Hisana picked up the diary and began to read…


	2. In Summer Air

2 England, late 1930s

It was late afternoon on a Saturday in August. Rukia Kuchiki felt as though she were in the desert. How could it be so damn hot? This was England! The heat wave was unimaginable and inescapable. Dressed in a think, slightly provocative sundress she was lounging in a deck chair in the shade of the verandah. She heard heavy footsteps and knew instantly it was her brother, Ichigo.

'Go away,' she said, her voice muffled slightly from the sunhat covering her face.

'Now big sis,' her brother said with that awful teasing tone, 'that is no way to greet your younger, yet smarter and much better looking brother.'

She scoffed at his remark. 'You are hardly any of those things. I barely consider you a brother, adopted at most. It sickens me to think we share the same blood.'

'Your words are a knife to my heart Rukia, a sharp nasty knife. But I still love you,' he said sitting down on the chair next to her.

'I thought I told you to leave?' she asked, although she knew full well that he had no intention of listening to her.

'When have I been one to listen?' he joked, 'I have a message from mum reminding you to ready yourself for tonight's dinner party at the Ukitake household.'

'Bloody hell!' Rukia exclaimed sitting up abruptly. 'It completely slipped my mind! How much time before we depart?'

'Ten minutes?'

'What?!'

'Relax, you have about an hour but you Kurosaki women have issues with punctuality.'

'That is not true in the slightest. Yuzu, Karin, mother and I are always on time,' Rukia contradicted.

Ichigo smirked, 'because thankfully, God decided to bless you four with Kurosaki men to bestow their intelligence and kind help to you.'

Rukia elbowed him, only to have Ichigo mess up her hair. They began to play fight but were interrupted quickly by their father. 'Oh Lord have mercy on my home!' their father exclaimed, sounding overly tragic for his own amusement and dramatization.

'She started it!' Ichigo whined in a childish voice.

'Oh rubbish! You are the blithering idiot!' Rukia objected.

'My daughter! Using the common speech of a peasant, what sort of educational institute and I sending you to?' wailed her father jokingly.

'Why can't you ever mock Ichigo?'

'He is a ginger my darling, that is insult enough!' Rukia couldn't help but to laugh.

'Hey!' protested Ichigo, 'mother has ginger hair, and I don't see you teasing her about it!'

'There is just something about a ginger boy… reminds me of a weasel or something hey—!' Ichigo began to wrestle with their father jokingly, or so Rukia hoped. She excused herself and headed to her room upstairs.

&&&&&

It took forever for her to choose an adequate gown for the evening. Not that it was a particularly special gathering, just an annual summer dinner her Uncle frequently had. Rukia chose a silk champagne-ivory coloured one with short sleeves and a low back. It was long with a slight slit on the right side. Wearing gold colour heels and her pearl earrings, she thought she looked rather nice. Loosely she clipped up her hair and grabbed her small black purse before heading down to greet her family.

Her mother, Masaki Kurosaki was there fussing with her younger twin sisters, Yuzu and Karin, who both decided to eat some chocolate that was hidden away and now had faces decorated in it. 'I'm ready!' Rukia announced.

Her mother looked up at her, 'oh my darling! You look beautiful, I just wish I could say the same for these two.'

'Oh mummy we are sorry! But it was so good!' Yuzu apologized.

'I'm not sorry,' Karin muttered under her breath.

Before Masaki could scold her daughter, Isshin burst into the entrance hall with Ichigo chummily walking behind him. 'Look at my beautiful Kurosaki women! I will defend you against all unworthy suitors who try and steal your hands in marriage!'

'Oh dad be serious, they can take Rukia. She's utterly useless, can't even work a broom! It is a crime against your identity as a woman,' Ichigo laughed knowing how much it egged his sister when he mocked her gender.

Rukia sure enough, glared at him, 'if you were to ask me brother, the crime you commit far exceeds my lack of knowledge with a broomstick, you are depriving a village somewhere of their idiot. Perhaps on our way to the party we should leave you at a train station so you may return?'

'That is quite enough from you two,' Masaki interjected, handing the chocolate covered cloth to the maid. 'Please try and be civilized at the party? Your uncle and aunt will be most displeased if you insist on this childish display.'

'My sincerest apologies mother,' Ichigo said, bowing playfully, 'but do recall Rukia's condition.'

'Which is?' his mother asked clearly not amused by his sarcasm.

'She may look sound, but is unquestionably socially impossible.'

Rukia smacked his head from behind, 'this coming from a lowlife who sets such low standards for himself that he consistently fails to achieve?'

'Children! Oh Masaki my love! Where did we go wrong with these two?' Isshin pretended to sob on his wife's shoulder.

'I think the start of it had something to do with your influence,' she said patting his back.

Isshin frowned at his wife's joke. 'All right Kurosaki family! Onwards!'

&&&&&

The party was very nicely decorated Rukia thought, other than that there was not much else. While it was nice to see her Uncle Ukitake and Aunt Retsu she could care less for the adult company of her parents. Rich stiffs with nothing better to do than compare fashions and other frivolous things. She was lucky her dearest friend Rangiku was there to keep her interest. The two of them were lazing on the back balcony, over looking the lake behind the manor.

Rangiku took down her hair and sighed, 'can you believe how awful this is Rukia?'

'Only because I am here to live it,' Rukia said sighing along with her friend.

'Can you believe it is almost summer's end? School will be starting,' Rangiku said with very little enthusiasm.

'I am looking forward to going back, it is an escape from here that's for sure,' Rukia told her.

'Have you heard the rumors?' Rangiku asked suddenly.

'Of?'

'My father and his friends were in the billiard room the other night, I overheard them talking,' her voice had become more quiet, more serious, it was alarming Rukia slightly to see her friend, who was always so carefree, looking unsettled, 'there is talk there will be another great war through Europe. Perhaps even extending beyond to other parts of the world.'

Rukia shook her head at this, 'there won't be Rangiku.'

'You can be sure of such things?'

'Well, no but the last war was just so devastating. There is no way countries would allow such tragedy again.' Rukia smiled to try and cheer her friend up.

'I hope you're right,' she said solemnly, 'I can't imagine what it would be to live through a world war…'

The girls' attention was soon alerted to laughter and splashing. Leaning over the balcony, in the distance the girls could make out a gathering of people around a bonfire. They appeared to be diving into the lake.

'That's the worker's quarters,' Rukia noted, observing the small houses in the distance.

'Worker's eh?' Rangiku said, smiling slyly, 'I bet there are boys there, I wonder if they have any liquor…'

'Rangiku!'

'Or ciggies…'

'Rangiku Matsumoto! And if we are caught?'

'Hey now Miss Kuchiki, I was not insinuating that we go over there.'

'Well,' Rukia said smirking, 'perhaps one of them is drowning, and it would be a crime against humanity to ignore a potential cry for help…'

'You are absolutely correct,' Rangiku agreed laughing, 'let's go!' She adjusted her royal blue dress so that her breasts were very obvious. Rukia laughed at her friend and carefully, the two snuck down the stairs making sure no one saw them, and headed over to where the fun was.

A/N: oh boy! I am so excited to see how people like this story. The ideas all just came to me, it is inspired by other stories as well as personal stories I have heard about this time. Please review =) I really appreciate all forms of constructive criticism.

Please no flames =(


	3. Those summer nights

3

Side by side, Rukia and Rangiku approached the fire to be delightfully surprised by the number of charmingly attractive boys there were. Rangiku's eyes lit up as she nudged Rukia excitedly. 'I can't believe this! Too bad their all laborers though, but it doesn't mean they aren't alright for a quick shag…'

'Rangiku!' Rukia cried out sounding more shocked than she actually was. Rangiku was a very classy young woman, but a tad on the promiscuous side.

The young men caught sight of the two girls and instantly began to make cat-calls their way. 'Well, well, well, do my eyes deceive me? Have you fine ladies come to join us or have you lost your way?' a bald-headed one called out, smoking a cigarette.

'Oh no, not at all,' Rangiku replied slyly, 'quite the contrary actually, we came here intentionally.'

'Oh?' said a dark haired one who was very handsome. 'Just came over to say hello?'

'Precisely,' Rukia replied, 'those stuffy parties are rather dull.'

'Wouldn't know,' a blonde man with big teeth said. 'I just clean up once you all bugger off.'

'Then consider yourself a lucky you don't have to suffer though them,' Rangiku said winking his way. 'What brings you boys out here on a night like this?'

'Got some time to waste,' a very handsome man with crimson hair said. He instantly captured Rukia's attention. He was unbelievably good looking. His eyes were a perfect brown, his skin tanned slightly from the hot sun they had been having. His body was lean with unbelievable muscle definition. She couldn't take her eyes off him.

'How have you boys been wasting your time?' Rangiku asked in a flirty way.

'Are you implying that you fancy society women wish to engage in social activities with us?' asked a rather big man with dark hair, who, oddly enough had a sleeping boar next to him.

'Would that be so farfetched?' Rangiku asked. She began taking off her dress so that she was merely standing in her undergarments, 'now, is anyone down for a quick swim?' All of the boys could not help but gape at Rangiku's body. 'I am Rangiku by the way, and this is my dear friend Rukia. She'll swim with you boys too, but you may have to work on her a bit.' Rukia glared at her.

The big dark haired one laughed. 'Ha, I like the looks of you two. I'm Ganju Shiba.'

'I'm Shuuhei,' the handsome dark haired one replied.

'Ikkaku,' the bald one said.

'Shinji,' the blonde haired man with big teeth said.

'Renji Abarai,' the crimson haired one said. He extended his hand to Rukia who was directly in front of him, 'Rukia, was it?'

'Yes,' she said, a little bit too quickly but that was to prevent her from stuttering.

Renji smirked at her, 'easy love, I don't mean to make you nervous.'

'You don't,' Rukia snapped, sounding a tad overly defensive.

'Easy, there's a temper on this one,' Renji teased, much to Rukia's annoyance.

'Your mouth is most dreadful when you open it,' retorted Rukia sharply.

'I bet yours can be a delight when you put it to good use,' Renji shamelessly shot back, earning several remarks from the guys.

Rukia was fuming. Rangiku detected this easily and went to put her hand on her shoulder, but Rukia spoke too soon. 'How dare you address me in such a manner! Have you no respect at all for women?'

Renji found this outburst hilarious. He pictured her to be shy and timid, she had been looking at him so sweetly. Now he was taken back by her spirit, but was more drawn to her seeing as she had a bit of fight in her. 'Of course I do,' he began, knowing he was just fueling the fire, 'but an ideal woman is to be seen and not heard, and I can hear you far too well.'

Before Rukia could kill him, as Rangiku knew she would, Rangiku interrupted, 'how about that swim? Perhaps we can all, cool down a tad?'

'Sounds good, there's a dock just up here,' Ikkaku mentioned, getting up to lead the way, 'some more of us are up that way. The others are still serving at the party.'

Rukia glared one last time at Renji and began to follow the rest of them. She turned to face Rangiku, 'I hate that one.'

'I think he likes you,' Rangiku whispered back.

'That's a most contradictory way to show it,' Rukia replied rolling her eyes.

'Just relax okay? Try and have fun… and don't hurt anyone.'

'What does that mean?'

'Remember with Kon at grade school when we were small? You hit him in the face because he fancied you slightly.'

Rukia scoffed at this. 'That was completely justified. It was self-defense! He followed me everywhere, consistently tried to hug me, made discourteous remarks in front of everyone—'

'Okay, okay,' Rangiku said, thinking of another example of Rukia's temper, 'what about with you brother? You are always quarreling with him.'

'Can you blame me? Had Ichigo a brain he would be dangerous to all mankind.'

They finally reached the dock, causing Rangiku to sigh with relief. Although Rukia was very studious and proper, she could be very juvenile and stubborn. Not that Rangiku was the model for exemplary behavior but at least she could admit her flaws and tried to get on with everyone. If Rukia disliked somebody, that was it. There was no room for argument.

'Hey! Everyone!' Ganju called out to the guys who were jumping from the dock, playing volleyball, and drinking around the fire, 'get over here!'

'Are those girls?' a voice called out.

Rangiku laughed, 'honestly are you not used to the company of women?'

'Not exactly,' a woman's voice said sharply. It came from a small brunette woman with bright green eyes and brown shaggy hair. She was wearing a rather worn red dress and bandages on her arm and head. 'Who are these broads?' she asked Ganju.

'Be nice sis,' Gangju replied, rather timidly, 'this is Rangiku and Rukia.'

'You two from the party?'

'Yes,' Rangiku replied, 'is there a problem?' There was no way she was taking any lip from this woman.

'I'm just curious what brings you here,' she said, 'I mean, I find it rather odd two rich broads like yourselves would rather be out here with us than inside with your caviar and fancy company.' She eyed them top to bottom carefully.

'Relax Kukaku,' Shuuhei said, 'let's all have us a drink and, enjoy one another's company.' He went to the giant bottles of alcohol they had and brought two of them over. Kukaku glared at them one last time before walking off to the dock.

'Don't mind 'er,' Ganju said, 'she's my older sister, little tough 'round the edges 'till you get to know 'er.'

'And even then she is about as cuddly as a rock,' Ikkaku joked. 'But she likes to fight which is alright by me!' Ikkaku went and kicked a man laying peacefully on the lakeside. He had strange feathers coming off of his face and was dressed rather elegantly for a worker.

'Is there a reason you are interrupting my leisure time with your brutish antics?' the feathered man asked. He noticed Rangiku and Rukia and returned to his resting, looking rather unimpressed with the two of them, 'sad, so very sad. What is society coming to?'

Shuuhei took a swig from a jug of… something and offered it to Rangiku, 'well Miss Rangiku, should we get started on that swim?'

'I'd be delighted,' she replied. The two of them headed to the dock.

'Wait for me! Cannon ball!' Ganju yelled, running full speed ahead.

Ikkaku ran up behind Ganju, 'I will better your jump! You pile of lard!' he yelled jokingly.

Rukia laughed lightly. She looked at the remaining crowd on the lakeshore. There was the feathered man, Shinji (who was now arguing with some petite blonde with ridiculous pigtails), a few others, and… Renji. _Great, just bloody great. Thanks a lot Rangiku._

Renji was holding a bottle, drinking from it. He was also eyeing Rukia. The small, brunette was very beautiful. Her eyes were so enchanting, a deep sapphire that glowed violet when the moonlight hit them. He liked that she wasn't like her friend, so lenient and open with her sexuality. Rukia had class and elegance; Renji respected this, but that didn't mean he didn't want to see her without her dress on… he just wanted her to do it for him. He walked over and nudged Rukia on the arm, 'your friend is quite outgoing.'

'That is Rangiku for you,' Rukia said with slight affection, the coldness in her voice clearly because it was Renji speaking to her.

'Care for a drink?' he asked, offering the bottle to her.

'No thank you,' Rukia replied, crossing her arms in front of her.

Renji laughed to himself. She hated him so much it was hilarious. 'Probably too strong for you anyway, you would be passed out after merely a whiff of it. Be hard explaining to your parents—' He was suddenly caught off guard as Rukia had snatched the bottle from his hands and was now downing it right before him. She gave it back to him after quite of few sips of straight rum. He couldn't believe it.

'It appears I have not passed out,' she said coolly. Deep down she knew she would regret that. She rarely drank, but there was no way she was letting this fool make a mockery of her.

'I'm impressed,' Renji said nodding in approval. He looked out on the lake and saw his friends swimming around. He glanced sideways at Rukia and smiled devilishly. 'Care for a swim at all?'

'No, I am quite content staying dry right here,' she answered, looking away from him. _God, why is he so good looking? _

'That's right,' he said slyly, 'Rangiku did say we would have to work on you to get you to do it. What would I have to do to convince you to get in?' He began rubbing her back lightly, causing her to blush instantaneously.

'Stop that!' she protested moving from his touch. 'If you think I am stripping down half naked and getting into any lake with you, you must be mad!'

'Fine,' Renji said, placing the bottle down. 'Suit yourself. I bet I know why you're too shy to do it.'

Rukia narrowed her glance at him, 'Excuse me? Shy? Why would you think it is because I am shy?'

'You cannot swim,' he answered simply. 'If you could there would be no problem.'

'I can too swim. I could outrace you no problem.'

'Don't believe you. But there's nothing to be ashamed of Rukia, so long as a woman can please her man, she has fulfilled her life's duty right?' Renji joked, knowing he was about to face the full on wrath of Rukia.

Rukia stared for a moment, and then did something that caused Renji's jaw to drop. She kicked off her shoes and began unbuttoning the side of her dress, taking it off so that she was only wearing the short, white slip. It was entirely sheer, causing Renji to blush. She undid her hair, causing long wavy black locks to fall elegantly just below her shoulders. Glaring at him she began to storm towards the dock. Renji quickly removed his shirt and shoes and ran to catch up.

'Hey,' he began, 'you know I was only joking I—'

'We'll race to the other side of the lake,' Rukia said ignoring him. 'No interfering with the other swimmer.'

Renji smiled at her, 'deal.'

'Count of three?'

'Start counting.'

'All right, 1-2-3!'

Renji was about to dive in when he noticed his female rival was still standing on the dock next to him. He raised his eyebrow in confusion, 'something wrong?'

'No, nothing, why would you think that?'

'You didn't jump in…'

'You didn't either!' she retorted.

'I was about to when I noticed you hadn't! I already waited a bit to give you a head start.'

Rukia gasped. 'Why do you think I would need a head start?'

Renji shrugged. 'You're pretty short, it's a bit unfair you racing against me don't you think?'

She kicked him in the shin, hard. 'How dare you!'

'Ow! Bloody hell woman, you are strong!'

Rukia glowed at the complement. 'Precisely why you shouldn't judge me based on my size, or gender for that matter.'

'You shouldn't have done that…' Renji said threateningly.

'Why is that? Worried it'll hurt your chances of beating me?' She responded snidely.

_Oh this enough._ Renji took a few steps closer to her, staring down at her face to face. She was glaring up at him with equal contempt. 'You want to race still? You think you can beat me? Just remember I tried to be nice.'

Before Rukia could answer, she felt his hands on her and was then thrust under water. It was freezing! She surfaced quickly, but before she could yell at him, he had already dived in and was swimming towards the other side. Rukia instantly began to swim, faster and with more strength than she ever had before. She absolutely _had_ to beat him. Renji was laughing to himself, he knew she was going to be completely pissed off. His attention was soon alerted to splashing behind him. He slowed and lifted his head only to see… Rukia. She had caught up to him and was now about to pass him. He instantly returned to his swimming and kicked faster, stretching his arms as far as they could go.

Watching from not too far was Rangiku, Shuuhei, Ikkaku, and Ganju. Rangiku was shaking her head, 'that girl really has no sense sometimes.'

'She's doing really well though, Renji's pretty damn fast,' Shuuhei commented.

'She handled his temper pretty well there too,' Ganju said, 'that Renji has a knack for gettin' under people's skins.'

'You're telling me,' Ikkaku said, 'try living with him.'

'Oh?' said Rangiku, 'do you all live together?'

She caught sight of Shuuhei staring sternly at Ikkaku. Ikkaku just shrugged, 'something like that. Any one down for some volleyball?'

Rukia felt her lungs burning, but the adrenaline in her system was keeping her going. When she knew the water was at last shallow, she stood and ran onto the lake. Renji followed her shortly, but there was no denying that she was the victor.

Panting Rukia put her hands on her hips to stabilize herself. 'Well Renji,' she smiled at him, 'it appears I just kicked your ass. Just remember, I tried to be nice and spare you humility.'

Renji shook his head in disbelief. 'How the hell did you do that?' he asked, coughing slightly, 'You're not a girl.'

Rukia stuck her tongue out at him and laughed. 'My parents always took my brother and I swimming as children. We're very competitive with each other.'

'I can't believe you beat me,' Renji said again smiling at her. 'What else you good at?'

'I dunno,' she said, shying away slightly.

Renji eyed the steep hill next to them and an idea popped into his head. 'Race you to the top of the hill.'

Rukia looked at it and her eyes widened in shock. 'Have you lost your mind? It is practically vertical, we'll fall!'

'I won't,' Renji smirked. 'If you're chicken that's all right.'

'You just want an excuse to try and redeem yourself! Probably stings a lot to have a lowly female beat you at something physical.'

'It does actually yes.'

'Fine!'

'Ready?'

'Of course!'

'Go!'

They took off running up the hill, practically neck and neck with one another. Suddenly though, Rukia slipped causing Renji to alert his attention back to her. In doing so, he himself took a bad step and began to fall as well. They landed at the bottom after rolling at an unbelievably fast speed, with Renji falling right next to Rukia.

'Are you okay?' he asked, sounding very concerned, he leaned over to make sure she was alright.

'I'm fine,' she replied hastily, slightly shaken up from the fall. 'What about you?'

'I'm always okay,' he said grinning softly. He raised his hand to brush some of the bits of grass and dirt that had collected as she fell.

She frowned, but with a smile and did the same to him. It must have been minutes later when Rukia realized they had been staring into one another's eyes, completely silent… Before she could speak Renji was the first to.

'You have such breathtaking eyes,' he said softly.

Rukia blushed and tried to look away but Renji caressed her cheek causing her to look back at him. 'Thank you…' she said, unsure of what exactly it was she should say. 'Still sore about being beaten by a girl?' she asked jokingly.

He laughed. 'I think I can live with it.' His eyes roamed all over her face, down to her elegant neck, her shoulder line… down to her low, sheer slip which was slightly more see-through because it was wet… her body was tempting him and her eyes were bewitching him. She was a very interesting girl, unlike any other Renji had met. She had a spark to her; a spark that Renji knew could light his world on fire.

Rukia was not blind to the intensity to which he was staring at her with. 'Should, should we head back?'

Renji didn't want to, but it was late. 'I guess we should.'

They stood up, Rukia felt herself shiver slightly, but she warmed up the instant Renji wrapped his arm around her petite frame. 'Do you live here?'

Renji was confused, 'what do you mean?'

'Well, at the worker's quarters back there. Or do you live elsewhere?' Rukia was slightly taken back worried she had offended him.

'Right, um, yeah, I live here. Do you life far?'

Rukia shook her head, 'no only about a fifteen minute drive… do you think the party will have ended?'

Renji checked his wristwatch, 'no, it's only eight-thirty. There's plenty of time for us to be together.' He mentally kicked himself for what he just said.

Rukia smiled and leaned closer to him. She felt sorrow within her. It would be her luck to fall for a servant boy… but that didn't mean they couldn't have fun just for the night.


	4. who are you? Who am I? Who are you?

4

Back at the party, Ichigo was frustrated. His friends had left early and he had not been able to sight his sister the whole night. Not that he particularly enjoyed her company, but it was better than being with his parents or younger sisters who were engaged in a game of hide and go seek in the gardens. His father came up to him, 'have you spotted her yet Ichigo?'

'No, I can't find Rukia or Rangiku for that matter.' Ichigo was beginning to get worried. Where could they have gone?

Masaki and a very tall, muscular man with scars on his face and a fierce expression came up to them. 'Darling, look who I found and thought you might like to see?' Masaki said.

'Ah, General Zaraki!' Isshin said extending his hand for a shake, 'it is a pleasure to see you again. It has been years'

'How have you been Isshin?' the man asked, 'is this your boy?'

'Yes, this is Ichigo,' Isshin said, putting his arm around Ichigo and beaming proudly. 'Ichigo you remember General Kenpachi Zaraki, one of the highest officers of the British army? You used to play with his sons in grade school.'

Ichigo remembered fondly and shook the man's hand. 'Good to see you again sir.'

'You considered joining the military at all Ichigo?' Kenpachi asked. Masaki's eyes widened with unease.

'No, I haven't,' Ichigo answered honestly, 'after my senior year I plan to go to university and study medicine.'

Kenpachi laughed, 'almost like father like son.'

Isshin bowed his head solemnly, 'let's let sleeping dogs lie for now Kenpachi.'

'What's that?' Kenpachi asked with genuine shock, 'you haven't told him anything have you?'

'Told me what dad?' asked Ichigo who was curious about what Kenpachi was implying.

Before they could say anything, a little girl with pink hair ran up to them, 'Daddy! Daddy!' she exclaimed, jumping up to Kenpachi.

'Yes my little sweet? What is the matter?' he asked.

'I can't find my brothers nowhere!' she said, shrugging for added emphasis.

'Hmm,' Isshin replied, 'we can't seem to find our Rukia either…'

'What?' asked Masaki with concern, 'you mean she isn't here?'

'Uh oh…' the little said.

'Forgive me, this is my youngest, Yachiru.'

'Oh she's darling,' Masaki said. Yachiro beamed proudly.

Suddenly, Ichigo caught sight of something off the balcony. There were tons of people it seemed by a fire not far from the mansion. 'Father,' Ichigo called, 'do you think they could be there?'

Masaki shook her head, 'oh for heavens sake! Rukia would not be gallivanting off so carelessly.'

'You stay here then my dear, Ichigo and I will go and see, just to check.' Isshin winked at his wife.

'I will accompany you,' Kenpachi said, setting Yachiru down.

'Come with me sweetie, you can meet my girls,' Masaki said taking Yachiru's hand.

As the men began to walk towards the people on the lake, Kenpachi smirked, 'wouldn't be surprised if they were down here. We did that as young boys, remember Isshin?'

Isshin laughed devilishly, 'how could I forget? Oh to be young again.'

%%%%%

Rukia and Rangiku had probably had a bit too much rum to drink by this point. It was a great time though, everyone was laughing. Kukaku had even warmed up to them. They were singing, and dancing. Renji was holding Rukia and occasionally twirling her. He knew she was a bit silly from the drink and was careful to keep her away from his friends. Besides, he really had no interest in whatever it was they were doing. He just wanted to be with her. The two of them had talked the whole night, Renji telling Rukia about his life employed for her Uncle and Aunt, and Rukia about her schooling. They both couldn't believe how easily and suddenly they were falling for one another.

'It is so lovely out!' exclaimed Rukia.

Renji shook his head laughing, 'you are cut off now.'

'I'm not drunk, if I were drunk I would be doing stupid things!'

'Like what?' asked Renji, he couldn't wait to hear the answer to that question.

'Like shouting!'

'You are shouting…'

'Oops…' Rukia covered her mouth, but couldn't help her giggling, 'well I would be trying to climb that tree, or walk on the water, or,' She leaned up and kissed Renji on the cheek, well tried to instead kissing just next to his lips, 'or something like that.' Renji felt a jolt through his body when her lips touched his skin. He put his hand on top of where she had kissed him, trying to preserve the feeling so it would last forever. When he didn't respond or move much, Rukia began to feel embarrassed, 'I'm sorry I—'

'Why would you be sorry?' Renji asked.

'Because, well, I… I—'

He leaned forward to kiss her on the lips, silencing her. He drew back and smiled seductively at her, 'you don't ever have to apologize for doing that…'

'I don't want this night to end,' Rukia said, she knew it was a risky thing to say especially so early upon meeting someone. But she was so madly attracted to him. She wanted to get to know him more.

He kissed her softly again, 'trust me I don't either… I have never met a girl as fun, crazy, stubborn and… incredibly beautiful as you.'

She smiled and rested her head against his chest. 'I will have to come visit my uncle more often… I don't know how long I could go without seeing you …'

He gently moved her face back up so she was looking at him again. Renji and Rukia instantly locked lips again, and the seemingly innocent kiss soon erupted with passion. Her back was leaning against a tree, which hurt her slightly but she forget the discomfort as Renji's hands escaped their polite positions on her face and back and began to roam the rest of her body. Subconsciously, Rukia's hips began to grind against Renji's, his hand had began to slide itself up her slip when—

'Get your filthy hands off my sister!' It was Ichigo looking completely outraged.

'Rukia?' Isshin asked, looking away from the sight, 'oh goodness, dear me…'

'Son?' asked Kenpachi sharply, 'just what do you think you are doing to Mr. Kurosaki's daughter?'

'Your surname is Kurosaki?' asked Renji looking at Rukia dead on. _Oh shit…_

'Yes,' Rukia answered, 'I do not understand, what…' _What is going on? Who is that man? Why is he calling Renji… his son…_

'Rukia darling, surely you remember General Kenpachi Zaraki, and his son, Renji Zaraki…' Isshin said.

Rukia took a minute then remembered. The man she had just been kissing was indeed the little boy she had played with from time to time when General Zaraki had come to visit. He was an old friend of her father's from back in their youth.… 'Oh my god,' she said completely shocked, 'but… you… I thought you were…'_ Why did he tell me last name was Abarai?_

'Never mind what you thought!' Ichigo burst angrily, 'since when do you act like this?'

'How I act is none of your concern Ichigo,' Rukia snapped back sharply.

'Now you two please, stop it!' Isshin ordered, raising his voice like he rarely did. 'Rukia go and make yourself decent. If Rangiku is there, please collect her. We will talk at home.'

'Yes father,' Rukia said turning around sharply.

'Renji, your brothers are with you I assume?' asked Kenpachi.

'Yes sir,' Renji said.

Kenpachi marched a few steps forward and yelled loudly, 'Boys! Shuuhei! Ikakku! Yumichka! Get over here this instant!' Rukia couldn't believe that she hadn't recognized them… it had been years though since she had seen them all last… _unbelievable…_

Ichigo glared at Renji as Kenpachi went to collect his sons. He hated this crimson haired hooligan. How could lie and dishonor his sister in such a manner? 'I ought to kill you for how you were touching Rukia,' said Ichigo viciously.

Renji could care less what this young boy had to say to him. 'Well, from the way she was moaning, I think she liked it.'

Ichigo felt anger rise within him. 'Do not talk about my sister like she is some lowly harlot.'

'Why don't you stand down little boy? You could get hurt uttering big threats like that,' Renji shot back. He was going to get in deep trouble from his father; he didn't need this from Ichigo right now.

Ichigo went over and the two began to fist fight brutally. Renji was surprised by Ichigo's strength. Considering their age difference, the two were decently matched. They got an even amount of punches on one another when—

'That is enough!' Isshin hollered, Rukia and Rangiku at his side.

Kenpachi smirked slightly, 'you should reconsider Ichigo's full potential Isshin. He would be a great asset to us.'

Renji wiped the blood from his lip and left with his father and brothers. Ichigo had a deep cut on his cheek and some bruises that would show up later. Isshin shook his head. 'That was completely unnecessary Ichigo. You will have to apologize.'

'Over my dead body! I can't let him defile Rukia's honor that way! I won't just stand aside and let him get away with that,' Ichigo said defending himself. He stormed off and was soon followed by his father, Rukia and Rangiku.

Rukia vaguely heard the conversation but was spaced out thinking about the night's events. She was sure she was in love with Renji, or, at least very close to it. How could he have lied so easily to her? Had he just wanted…

Rangiku put her hand on her friend's back, 'are you alright?'

'Fine,' Rukia answered shortly.

'Men can be scoundrels,' Rangiku said, sensing what was going on in Rukia's head, 'but they aren't all that way. Someone much better will come along.'

'I hate him,' Rukia said, 'God help him if my eyes ever lay on his face.'

'Don't even think on it Rukia. Hopefully the next time you see him, you're married to some wealthy business man and he can just wallow in his own self pity.'

Rukia shook her head. 'That won't happen. I refuse to let myself be made a fool ever again. I am not ever letting a man into my heart. It is just an illusion created by society. That is how they trap you.'

Rangiku rolled her eyes listening to her friend. _Sure Rukia, we'll see how long that plan lasts. _

&&&&&

Hisana closed the diary feeling overwhelmed by its content. Was this real? Was this young girl really her mother? Hisana always thought that she had been very close with her mum, and now she felt as thought she did not know a single thing about her. Moving up from the floor, Hisana sat on her mother's bed and continued to read…


	5. Consequences

5

Summer seemed to draw quickly to a close. School had already been in session for just over a week now. Rukia was enjoying it very much, her professors, her books, her classes, all so brilliant. Rangiku on the other hand was very much enjoying taking part in all the social aspects of university life. The ladies shared a small apartment for during the week and came home on weekends. Everything was going great. Rukia had long forgotten that upsetting night with Renji during the summer. She was prepared to spend her academic year focusing on herself.

Rukia had agreed to meet Rangiku at a small café after her class finished. She was wearing a simple light purple dress, fairly loose fitting perhaps, a bit too reminiscent of summer. Her hair loosely tied up with that ruddy bang that insisted upon falling back in place on her forehead. She was so preoccupied with meeting Rangiku on time she did not notice the gentleman standing before her—

'Sorry I apologize I wasn't…' she could have died right then and there when she saw who it was. 'Oh dear god no…'

'Rukia?' asked Renji, who seemed just as shocked as she was.

'You, you go here? You study here?' Rukia bit her lip, wanting to wake up from this dream.

'Yes I do go here; in fact I have for three years now. I am graduating this year.' Renji noticed she was being standoffish with him. Clearly that night in the summer she had been embarrassed, I mean, both their fathers caught them, and her psychotic brother. He had also lied to her about being an employee of her Uncle… but she couldn't possibly be that angry over something so trivial… could she?

'Well, that's great,' Rukia said, not sure what else there was to say, 'I have to go. Good day.' She began to walk off when Renji moved to stop her, his arms encircling around her waist.

'Whoa, whoa, that's it? You are just dismissing me like that?' he asked, sounding a bit hurt.

'Why on earth would I want to speak with you?'

'Why on earth do you seem cross with me?'

Rukia gasped, offended at his lack of common sense in her opinion. 'I cannot believe you. You really see nothing wrong with what you did?'

'What? Playing around that I was a servant boy? I didn't think you were who you are, it was just in good fun, have a laugh Rukia.'

She shook her head. 'Well I am glad you had your 'good fun'. At least one of us did.'

'You seemed to be having a good time,' he said winking at her.

'I should really commend you on your efforts. I actually thought you cared for me a little, and here it was just a scheme to get yourself to bed with me.'

'That's not true at all.'

Rukia did not want to hear any more of this and made her way to leave again but Renji just tightened his grip on her waist, pulling her against him so he was standing directly behind her. He leaned to whisper in her ear, 'I'm sorry, all right Rukia? I'm sorry. I have thought about you everyday since that night.'

'I'm sure,' she replied sarcastically. She was strongly resisting the urge to melt into his embrace. His scent washed over her and took her back to that night at the lake… she remembered the feeling of his lips on hers… his hands softly touching her body… _Rukia pull yourself together this instant!_

'I have,' he replied quietly, his voice deeper now. His lips gently brushed along her ear lobe, tracing it softly, 'I don't think you hate me as much as you want to.'

Rukia wanted to give in. She wanted to forget her anger and just turn around and kiss him. They could be together, Renji's status was more than adequate, their father's old friends. But she found that bit of strength within her to take his hand in hers, grip it tenderly, and move it from her waist. 'I cannot do this,' she said quietly, but firmly, 'it was nice to run into you again.' With that, Rukia left, walking at a faster pace to meet Rangiku.

%%%%%

Renji rolled his eyes, beyond angry with himself. His friends Izuru and Momo approached him shortly after Rukia left. 'Take it that didn't go so well?' Izuru said, stating the obvious.

'Whatever, it doesn't matter,' Renji replied.

'I think it clearly does matter. I have never heard you talk about a girl so much ever,' Izuru commented.

'She's very pretty Renji,' Momo told him, smiling, 'I can tell she likes you, she's just hurt.'

Renji sighed deeply, 'look, I said it doesn't matter okay? She's just a girl. There's plenty like her out there.'

'Don't be like that Renji,' scolded Momo lovingly, 'you just need to do something special. Do something that shows her you genuinely care for her. She thinks you just wanted her for her body.'

'Not far from the truth,' joked Izuru, earning him an evil eye from Renji, 'my, aren't we possessive a little prematurely hey old chap?'

'I'm not!' objected Renji. 'You two are bloody irritating you know that?' With that he stormed off, Momo and Izuru sighing behind their friend.

%%%%%

The week had started off so great and since her run in with Renji during the week, took a dramatic downfall. Her heart felt strange. Whenever he came into her thoughts, which was every minute of the day, she felt a strange mix of happiness with sorrow. For the remainder of the week she had hoped she would run into Renji again, but no such luck. Why did he have such a hold on her?

Rukia was at last home for the weekend. It was nice to see the twins, her parents, even Ichigo. To add to the misery of missing and hating Renji simultaneously, Ichigo had been off with her lately causing Rukia much distress. It had been ever since that night he had caught her with Renji. She knew Ichigo had fought with him, but whatever caused her brother to get so upset was far beyond her understanding. Feeling thirsty, Rukia headed downstairs. Passing by the library she heard raised voice, unmistakably those of Ichigo and her father. She quickly ran to one of the studies to eavesdrop.

Inside, Ichigo and Isshin were in a fairly heated discussion concerning that night at the lake. 'Why won't you tell me what General Zaraki meant?' demanded Ichigo sounding his usual hotheaded self. If there was anything Ichigo hated, it was something being kept from him. He had long been interested in wars and joining the army. Like Rukia, he was very studious but he had this aggressive nature to him that could really be quite frightening.

'I do not need to disclose all of my personal information to you son,' Isshin said sternly.

'I can ask Zaraki himself,' Ichigo threatened. 'I can find out from a variety of sources I am sure. But I would rather hear it from you though.'

Isshin rubbed his forehead, feeling a strong headache coming on. 'Very well Ichigo,' he said, beginning his story reluctantly, 'when I was around your age... I served in the First World War.'

Ichigo raised his eyebrows, shocked by this news, 'are you serious, you in the army? But when I brought it up as a career option for myself you instantly deterred me from it.'

'War is far from glamorous Ichigo. On the battlefield is where humanity dies and you see the true dark nature of human beings,' Isshin said, images from the trenches flashing through his head.

'Well what happened? Why are you no longer enlisted?' pried Ichigo. It was hard to picture his father in uniform. It seemed so very out of character.

'I was gravely injured. I nearly lost my life. I never prayed before in my life, and I haven't since that day. I begged God to let me live, to see your mother's face again. I swore I would never raise a weapon against my fellow man, that I would hold my morality high in the face of fear. I survived—despite blood loss, despite infections I survived. My injuries were nothing next to what others suffered...' There was pain evident in Isshin's eyes as he spoke.

Ichigo was humbled by his father's stories. Feeling slightly remorseful for having dragged them out of him. 'How exactly do you know General Zaraki?'

'We knew one another before. Our families have always been close. He was the leader of my unit; he is the one who saved me. Made sure I got to a medic. Zaraki is, unlike anyone I have ever met. He thrives on the battlefield, numb to the horrors that surround him. I prefer to leave that chapter of my life behind me. I have a gorgeous wife, amazing children, a beautiful home, and a business that allows me to provide for everything I care for. No one wins in war Ichigo.' Isshin was fearful his son wasn't getting his point.

Ichigo nodded in agreement with his father. It would be true fool to deny the atrocities of war—the death, the destruction...but something about it intrigued Ichigo on a deep level that he was fearful of growing to understand. Isshin was well aware of his son's hidden aggressive tendencies. Ichigo especially showed aggression when anyone would threaten a member of his family, particularly with Rukia. As a young boy, Ichigo had idolized his older sister. Although there was only a two-year difference between them, he loved following her around. It wasn't until he went to school and made friends of his own that Ichigo let go of his need to be around Rukia all of the time. But he was always very watchful of her, Yuzu, and Karin. Isshin had been wanting to talk to Ichigo about fighting with Renji since it happened, but when he brought it up Ichigo would dismiss himself and leave the room.

'I'm glad you told me about your past,' Ichigo said quietly, breaking the silent tension between them.

'I think I am too,' Isshin responded, truthfully not knowing what to think. Had he just given Ichigo a reason for joining? 'Ichigo, about with Renji I—'

'What about it?' asked Ichigo angrily.

'You watch your tone when you address me,' Isshin said, slowly calming himself back down, 'the Zaraki family will be coming for dinner tomorrow evening. You do not necessarily have to apologize to Renji but for our family's sake please control your temper. I will not have you making an outburst like that again, do you understand me?'

Ichigo did not say anything. His glare on his father intensified, he began to feel resentment towards his father. Did the man not understand anything? 'Fine.' With that Ichigo left the library, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Isshin sighed and had another sip of his whiskey. 'My, my Ichigo, what am I to do with you?'

%%%%%

Rukia heard the door slam and walked out hurriedly from the study to avoid being caught. She headed to the kitchen, appalled at learning that Renji was going to be in her home tomorrow! Just when she thought she had somewhere where she could be guaranteed _not_ to see his face. Rukia entered the kitchen and was surprised to see Ichigo standing there, leaning forward with his hands on the counter for balance. She approached with slight caution; even if she hadn't been eavesdropping the negativity was radiating from him like an odor.

'Hi,' Rukia said, almost shyly. It was not normal for it to be this awkward between them. She almost missed the arguments.

'Rukia,' he replied. That was his greeting she supposed.

'Do you want some juice?' she asked, approaching the refrigerator.

'No,' he answered.

Rukia nodded and began to pour herself some orange juice. She put her glass on the counter. She was about to ask Ichigo what was going on when she heard the clank of her necklace hitting the ground._ Stupid thing, it's always falling off_. It was a silly locket that, believe it or not, Ichigo had given her for a graduation present last year. She knelt down to pick it up and was startled when she stood up to find Ichigo standing directly in front of her.

He took her hands in his, 'here, I'll put it back on for you.' He took the necklace from her hands and motioned for her to turn around.

She did turned around slowly, moving her hair so he could do up the clasp. 'Thank you,' she said, feeling his hands on her shoulders when he was done.

'Yeah.' It was all he said before letting go and walking away from her.

'Ichigo why aren't you speaking to me?' asked Rukia. She was sincerely concerned as it was not like Ichigo to speak to her so coldly.

He stopped and looked sideways back at her, but did not make eye contact. 'I just don't understand why you did that, with _him_ of all people,' Ichigo said plain and simply.

Rukia still didn't understand anything. He was blowing things way out of proportion. It wasn't like her and Renji had been having sex, and if they had been so what? 'Ichigo I don't understand. I mean, I'm going to date eventually… you always tease me about having mum and dad marry me off.'

'It's different to joke about it and then have it actually happen okay?' he said, borderline yelling. 'Just the thought of him near you makes me sick.' The last part he said quietly but Rukia was still able to hear it.

Suddenly, it struck her. Ichigo was… jealous in some way of Renji. How did that make any sense though? 'Ichigo you're being—'

Ichigo moved and grabbed Rukia's arms tightly, hurting her and slammed her into the wall behind them. The look in his eyes struck fear into her heart. She reached hands up to touch his gently, hoping he would calm down. Her touches on his hands calmed him and he looked away from her in shame. She went to touch his cheek gently; he let her, only for a moment before taking her hand off him and storming off. Rukia watched him and felt a strange sadness overtake her.

All of a sudden, Isshin turned the corner, having heard the argument between his children. 'Darling, Ichigo is just having a hard time accepting that you are growing up.'

'But father, I don't understand, nothing even happened…'

'But it will sweetheart. Ichigo is used to being the only man in your life, other than me. He has always been very protective of you and it is going to take a lot for him to trust another man to take care of you. Just give him time, ' Isshin told her. He hugged his daughter comforting her. _I worry very much about you Ichigo… I worry what you are capable of. _

'Daddy, is Renji really coming here tomorrow?' asked Rukia, reluctant to hear the answer, 'Ichigo… said that the Zaraki's were coming…' _Don't want daddy to think I was listening in…_

Isshin smiled, 'yes my darling! I thought you would be more excited about it?'

'Please,' said Rukia, returning upstairs to her room.

%%%%%

The following evening at dinner, Rukia was wearing a simple dark red evening dress. Her hair was in some odd loose arrangement—to put it simply, she felt she looked like crap. She didn't want to overdo her appearance, because then it would mean she cared. _ I don't care! I hate him!_ But to look sloppy would not benefit her either.

When the Zaraki's arrived, instantly the noise of an excited little girl filled the room. Rukia learned this was Yachiru and smiled meeting the little girl. Yachiru giggled upon hearing Rukia's name.

'Are you the one who was kissing my brother?' she asked.

Rukia felt her cheeks glow red and smiled sweetly at the girl, secretly wanting to give her a shake. 'No, sweetie that must've been someone else.' Yuzu and Karin were snickering behind her and Ichigo was looking as stoic as ever, most likely trying to keep his cool.

At the dinner table, Rukia thankfully was not sitting next to Renji, but he was one seat over from being directly across from her. He had not spoken to her prior to the dinner. Instead she had chosen to sit with Lady Zaraki, her mother, Yachiru and the twins. Ichigo had been talking to Kenpachi the whole night, which concerned Rukia given the conversation she had overheard earlier.

Kenpachi and Isshin were telling ridiculous stories of their youth, alternating with embarrassing stories of the kids growing up, and current issues in politics. Most alarming was the news regarding Germany. Rukia, not wanting to hear of a possible threat, tuned out and felt as though eyes were upon her—and indeed they were. Renji was looking at her, a striking softness to his eyes. No doubt he wanted to speak with her, but she was not going to have that happen.

Ichigo was sitting directly beside her. He noticed Renji's intense staring at his sister and was not pleased, but he had promised his father he would behave so said nothing. When Rukia caught notice of Renji Ichigo felt his guard go up. He gave her hand a quick squeeze causing her to jump slightly. She looked at him, clearly not sure what to make of that gesture. Ichigo smirked and winked her way; he leant over to whisper in her ear, 'I'm sorry for how I acted. I just don't want any scum to hurt you, that's all.'

She smiled and whispered back, 'you are acquitted of all charges.' Rukia felt a huge relief, but was still feeling apprehensive towards Ichigo. That feeling hopefully would fade away after a few days.

%%%%%

After dinner, Rukia dismissed herself to go up to her room. The boys went outside to smoke cigars while the mums had tea and the girls when to play in the toy room. Rukia was about to close the door to her room when she heard her name whispered behind her, 'Rukia! Rukia dammit!'

She looked back out in the hallway and saw Renji. 'What the hell are you doing?'

'I want to talk to you, please?' Renji was begging, he felt pathetic. Rukia closed her bedroom door and took Renji's hand, dragging him to a spare bedroom. Renji grinned jokingly at the surroundings, 'well this isn't exactly what I had in mind but if you insist I—'

'That's quite enough,' she replied firmly, 'what do you have to say? And keep your voice down!'

'Firstly, I want to apologize. I'm sorry that I lied to you, I shouldn't have done that I just… I hate the titles all right? I hate this 'nobility', iconic, social status bullshit. I hate having to pretend to be what somebody else wants me to be,' he began. Rukia nodded, indicating that she was listening. She totally understood where he was coming from. Renji continued, 'secondly, I wasn't… leading you on. I mean, I find you very, very attractive. You're stunning, you're breathtaking, you literally… steal my oxygen from me.' Rukia had to laugh a little at that. Seeing this as a good sign, Renji persisted, 'thirdly I can't stop thinking about you. Not in a dirty way well, sometimes but I… I want to get to know you more. I mean… you're an amazingly, attractive woman with a brain, who can kick my ass at a race and make me laugh, and…I just, it would make me miserable to think that I messed this up so badly you would never want to see me again. Because Rukia I really, really want to make this up to you.' The look in his eyes was of complete sincerity. Rukia wasn't sure want to do.

'Renji… I…' Rukia felt lost for words, 'this is so sudden.'

'I know!' exclaimed Renji, an idiotic grin on his face, 'I know! It's completely ridiculous. But we have something, I mean, I've never thought about someone as much as you. That night on the lake I felt like—' _Shit! Too far man close your mouth. _

'Like?' asked Rukia, she didn't know why she wanted to hear this. She was terrified.

Renji sighed, he had to say it, he had to finish his sentence. 'Like… I wanted to be with you, as long as I possibly could. Not just one night…'

Rukia now felt she could relate to what it felt like to be hit by something at a high, full speed. 'Do you mean—'

'Every word of it,' he said, finished her sentence. There was silence. They were just staring into one another's eyes, trying to figure out what the other was thinking. Before Renji could ask Rukia what she wanted, she had her arms wrapped around him kissing him. They parted and a single tear managed to sneak its way down her cheek. Renji tenderly wiped it away and embraced her tightly. 'I'm not going anywhere from you,' he said. 'I don't what you did but I am completely bewitched by you.'

'Aren't you the flatterer?' Rukia joked. 'I never thought this would happen.'

'What?' asked Renji, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it anyways.

'That I would be in your arms again,' she answered, 'I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.'

He smiled at her, kissing her again. They made arrangements to meet Monday after class and decided to head downstairs immediately one at a time to avoid any questions. Lord knows the commotion that would result from being caught in a bedroom upstairs. They left the spare room, Renji returning downstairs and Rukia heading straight to her room.

Unbeknown to both of them, a pair of eyes had witnessed them entering the spare bedroom, and then emerge a fair bit later…


	6. The Trials of Young Love

6

Almost two months later…

"Well dearest diary,

It appears I have grown very fond of you. I would have to say you have become a very close friend. It seems rather impersonal to refer to you merely as 'diary' perhaps I should name you.... My life is rather chaotic at the moment. Examinations in school are rather difficult, it is hard to feel proud of marks lower than I am accustomed to—especially as Renji is so brilliant and seems to excel in everything he does. He is graduating with honours! I hope I can achieve at least half of what he has done… sometimes being with him makes me feel so inadequate. I wouldn't say I am jealous of his successes, for they are his own and I am sure to have mine. It's just he makes it seem so easy. He rarely studies, always goes out and seems to accomplish what I do after locking myself in the library for days.

To add to my stresses, Ichigo has reverted back to not speaking to me. He seems detested by my presence. I have avoided going home the past two weekends because I cannot stand the awkwardness between us. I really have no idea how to handle this. Ichigo won't speak to Renji aside from formal greetings. When I told him that Renji and I are dating he, well he wasn't happy. They're so alike yet so different in many ways. Perhaps this is why they clash so…

I adore Renji beyond anything I ever thought I would understand. I must be in love. Rangiku teases me consistently, as does mum and dad. Rangiku has been in contact with Renji's older brother Shuuhei. I can't help but think how fun it would be if we were sister in laws.

Renji does have tendencies to well, not exclude me but… he just seems to prioritize his friends and classmates over time with me. Which I can understand, he knew these people way before I came into his life in the role I have now. But… it makes me worried that maybe I am not so important to him. It's ridiculous to think he started off as a childhood playmate and grew into the man I love. I do love him. It's terrifying. Funny how they always say you fall in love, it is a very accurate metaphor; you are completely helpless, free falling further and further into a bottomless hole. What happens when you reach the bottom? Is there one? There no expression for climbing out of love, perhaps you cannot do so…

Until later,

-Rukia K. (Perhaps one day Zaraki… Mr & Mrs Renji Zaraki… I am getting carried away…)

Rukia closed her diary and slid it back into its silk bag, hiding it safely behind her headboard. She was due to meet Renji in the north courtyard in half an hour. Rangiku was off with Shuuhei. They were always together, which Rukia envied. Granted, Renji could not afford the time and neither could Rukia really, with school and all. Shuuhei had already graduated and now worked for his father in some government position, and Ikkaku, the oldest, was a commander, (something or other) in the military. Yumichika, who was second eldest, was studying philosophy and arts; completely not interested one bit in following in the military path of his siblings.

Rukia prettied herself up more, being sure to wear her hair down for once as Renji would just untie it if it were up. Checking herself once more in the mirror, she then headed down to go meet up with him. She was excited to see him, it had only been two days since she saw him last but that was more than long enough. She was on time, expecting him to be a bit late. Rukia waited, patiently, walking around observing the fountain and changing colours of the leaves.

It was twenty minutes past the time they said they would meet when she heard his laughter. He was walking with his friends, Momo and Izuru, and a few others she did not recognize. Renji waved once he saw her and began to run over, his friends made teasing calls behind him.

Before Rukia could comment on his tardiness, Renji had picked her up in the air and spun her around before falling on his back with her on top of him. They were both laughing at his foolish antics. 'Renji! You are such a fool sometimes!' Rukia scolded playfully.

'Of course, would you expect anything different of me?' he replied, kissing her. 'How are you my love? I'm sorry I'm late. We got caught up in a ridiculous debate with one of the professors in our honours program. Something about physics, far over your head.' He messed up her hair playfully.

Rukia felt slight anger at his condescending comment, but let it slide. 'It was nothing I arrived only moments before you did,' she lied. 'What do you want to do tonight?'

'What?' he asked, sounding truly perplexed.

Rukia thought he was teasing and frowned lightly, 'we were going to do something tonight, unless…' _He's completely forgotten…_

Renji winced at her question, 'oh, bloody hell. Sorry Rukia, I forgot I have this important senior thing to go to tonight.'

'Perhaps you can see me after?' she asked hopefully.

'Doubt it, he'll be pissed out of his tree,' Izuru joked laughing.

Rukia looked at Renji questioningly, 'Pissed? What sort of "important" senior thing is this?'

'Uh, well,' began Renji, 'bunch of us are going to the senior's pub to you know, celebration midterm examinations being done and all, and uh… you know discuss things.' Rukia frowned and shook her head at his pathetic excuse to try and make it seem more important than it was.

'Don't worry on it Rukia, Perhaps you would be kind to escort him home, Renji usually needs help with that,' another guy said.

'Doesn't usually need help finding someone to take home,' someone else remarked.

Izuru laughed, looking at Rukia with joking sympathy, 'you'll have to keep a tight leash on ol' Renji here. He's not used to having an owner.'

Rukia felt uncomfortable at their remarks, and it showed on her face. She felt like they were just ridiculing her, as though as being Renji's girlfriend made her a star joke. Renji saw this and felt terrible. 'Hey guys shut it all right? Piss off and I'll meet you down at the senior's dorms?' With that they left. Renji and Rukia both stood up. She avoided looking at him. 'I'm sorry Rukia, really I am. I forgot…'

'It's fine Renji honestly, it's your senior year I completely understand,' she said, sweetening her voice to mask her disappointment.

Renji hugged her tightly, 'I have the best girlfriend in the world, in the whole entirety of the universe. I wish you could come tonight but you know, it's just our graduating year...'

She nodded and repeated her question, 'should I, see you tonight? Afterwards?'

Renji thought about this. He was planning on getting drunk, that was true. He was a bit of a partier, which he was beginning to understand lately made Rukia quite a bit uneasy. Maybe he would take it easy tonight, make things up to her. 'Absolutely darling, I will come to your place.'

'From my understanding you may need help getting here?' she asked, glaring at him lightheartedly.

'Rubbish!' Renji said, 'I will skip here, cartwheels, run, hop, bicycle, name it I will do it for you. Just stay in and wait for me okay?'

'Just don't hurt yourself. I'll wait for you tonight okay?'

'I'll be done with them around midnight, sound fair?'

'Yes, now go they're waiting for you.'

He kissed her goodbye. 'You're my favourite girl you know that?' With that he ran off.

Rukia felt a loneliness overcome her as she watched him run off. _Your favourite girl? Favourite compared to whom else? _She couldn't quite fathom why, but she felt like crying. They had only been dating for a two months, but she hadn't really met his friends at all, but when she was with them they constantly made remarks about Renji and his apparent 'wild, womanizer' side. Her and Renji usually grabbed coffee, or studied, or went to little social events before skipping out to go walk somewhere.

Physically, they had done practically nothing. _Maybe that's it… maybe he's losing interest…_ Rukia was a virgin, and from how Renji acted and what his friends were like she assumed he wasn't. She couldn't help but wonder sometimes if he was seeing someone else… _no, of course he isn't. _Renji had to care a lot about their relationship; after all he came to her parents' estate at least once every weekend to see them and her. Rukia wasn't opposed to sex before marriage; just the right person hadn't come along. Feeling anxious she decided to head back to her room. She decided she would let everything sort itself out.

%%%%%

Rukia was sulking over her chemistry text at home that night. She couldn't stop thinking about how Renji had flat out ditched her (there was no point in sugar coating it anymore, he did ditch her). First she had been sad about it, then decided to ignore it and let it go—but now she was just down right pissed off. She was beginning to feel lonely when Rangiku burst into the door dropping dramatically on her bed.

'I have had the longest day!' she exclaimed, 'you won't believe what happened, some silly goose decided to—' Rangiku quit talking when she saw her friend hurriedly wiping tears from her face. 'Rukia why were you crying?'

'I wasn't! I wasn't,' Rukia replied.

'Okay, second question, why are you lying to me about it?' Rukia stayed silent, looking away from her. Rangiku had a feeling what was wrong, 'Rukia what did Renji do?'

'Nothing! Why would you think this has anything to do with him?' snapped Rukia.

Rangiku went and sat on her friend's bed by her desk, 'because lately whenever you are upset or near tears, he has usually done something to disappoint or upset you.'

Rukia sighed with frustration, 'that's not true Rangiku. School is just really stressful.'

'Rukia, you're doing brilliantly. That can't possibly be why you're so down.'

'No I'm not Rangiku. I just… I'm not good enough, I feel like I'm studying and I have no fun and—'

'You don't have because you force yourself to study all, and I mean _all_ of the time! You're spending your first year in university locked in this room waiting for Renji to want to see you. He's a jerk to you, I don't know why you put up with it.'

Rukia stayed silent, trying to think of what to say. It was true (Though to a less drastic extent) what Rangiku was saying. Rukia had always wanted to break free from her boring life at home and yet here she was, cooped up at her apartment.

Rangiku saw her friend was in conflict and gave her a quick hug before saying, 'you know, I have just the cure for you Rukia, let's go!'

%%%%%

Intending on spending the night in her room studying, Rukia now found herself at the local student pub that was the most popular with the first and second years. Rangiku had practically tossed Rukia's textbooks out the window before dragging her out. Rukia was very against this at first but quickly opened up to the idea once she began meeting some of Rangiku's new friends. They seemed to take a liking to her and Rukia found (with the help of a few drinks), that she could relax, loosen up and be herself. One of Rangiku's friends, Ashido Kano, took a strong liking to Rukia. He had been chatting her up and flirting with her the whole night.

'So,' Rangiku asked pulling Rukia aside, 'what do you think of Ashido.'

Rukia shrugged, 'he's nice I suppose, why?'

'Well, he thinks that you are _very_ nice, he fancies you I can tell,' Rangiku said smiling.

Rukia laughed at this and shook her head, 'oh no, no no no, Rangiku! I have a boyfriend!'

'One who treats you like garbage, is a drunk scoundrel, and is a pig.'

'Rangiku, why do you say those things?'

Rangiku sighed, 'because it's true Rukia. You're always sad, today you were in tears because of him! Just give Ashido a chance will you? Go be his table tennis partner.'

'No, Rangiku I'm with Renji, I love Renji,' Rukia protested.

'Have you said that to him, that you love him?' Rangiku demanded. Rukia shook her. Rangiku continued, 'well I certainly then assume he hasn't said it to you.'

'That's none of your business, we've only been together two months!'

'And he's already making you unhappy! Just, hang out with Ashido tonight okay? I promise you'll have fun,' insisted Rangiku.

'Fine I'll hang out with him. But nothing more!' Rukia said, knowing there was no escaping a determined Rangiku. _Rangiku just doesn't understand…_

The girls parted and Rukia went over to Ashido. 'Do you need a partner? I'm not half bad at table tennis you know.'

Ashido smiled, seemingly genuinely happy she had come to talk with him. 'Uh… yeah! I mean yes, please, I would love to be partners with you.'

%%%%%

They played on, the losing team needing to drink each time the other time scored. Rukia was feeling pretty tipsy, but her and Ashido were winning! It was very exciting and she was having fun with him. He was very interesting, a year older and studying science in hopes to get into medicine as well. They had a lot in common. _Maybe Rangiku is right about Renji…_

As the night progressed, Rukia was talking nonstop with Ashido. They were having so much fun together playing the drinking game. When Rukia scored the winning point in the final game, Ashido hugged her and picked her up in celebration. Rukia felt guilty for a split second, and then brushed it off, allowing herself to enjoy the evening. While in the air, Rukia's eyes caught something—it was a girl with long dark blonde hair and a guy standing next to her. The girl was very pretty, and clearly a little intoxicated. The man was dancing with her, holding her really close to him and whispering in her ear, causing her to let out a flirtatious laugh. Normally, Rukia would not have noticed this. It was just a casual scene in a university pub after all. But no, Rukia _did_ notice this, and she could not put her finger on why until her eyes met with Renji's. Renji was dancing with this other, Renji was flirting with this other girl. Rukia looked away instantly, visibly upset over something, and completely unaware that she was in Ashido's arms.

'Rukia?' Ashido asked gently, 'what's the matter?'

'Nothing, it's just—' she turned to look back only to see Renji's angry face across the pub. Rukia now realized that the whole time she had been here, she had entirely forgotten she had a boyfriend.


	7. Perhaps it's for the best

7

Renji stormed over to Rukia, completely abandoning the other girl he was with. Rukia could tell he was trying to keep his calm relatively in order, nodding a cold greeting in Rangiku's direction. 'Rukia,' he said, anger evident in his voice, 'what's this?' His eyes glanced threateningly in Ashido's direction.

'This is Ashido,' she replied, 'we were just playing table tennis.'

'Right,' he said coldly, not even giving Ashido a chance to formally introduce himself. 'Well I'll leave you two to enjoy yourselves.' He instantly turned around and began to exit the bar.

Rukia hesitated a moment, debating whether or not to follow him. Rangiku spoke up, trying to stop her but Rukia was already running outside after him, leaving Ashido behind in a state of confusion. 'Renji! Where are you going?'

He stopped at turned to face her, 'I'm leaving. From the way you were clinging onto that guy, it is obvious you've no interest in seeing me tonight.' There was a strong scent of alcohol on his breath she hadn't noticed inside. He eyes looked a bit bloodshot as well. 'Seriously, you're supposed to be waiting for me! What the hell are you doing out?'

'Excuse me?' she questioned, 'this is the _first time_ that I go out instead waiting around my apartment for you! I was going to head back in time to see you!'

'Well thank god for that because it appears you can't keep yourself to one man.'

'I most certainly can! To my knowledge being table tennis partners with someone doesn't constitute infidelity. Besides, by what your friends say, you apparently need a tight leash.'

'They're only kidding Rukia!' Renji yelled, frustrated with her.

'No they're not! Renji I saw you dancing and flirting with that other girl! I know that you saw me looking at you with her so don't bother denying it!'

Renji rolled his eyes at her, 'She's just a friend! I've known her since first year. How long have you know that guy you were all over tonight?'

'I was not all over him,' Rukia said in an eerie calm voice, 'and I do not care if you've known her since your first year! You shouldn't be like that with someone when you have a girlfriend! But she probably doesn't even know I exist! You never let me hang out with you and your friends! Why?'

'You couldn't come out tonight because it was a senior's thing Rukia, you can't follow me around all the time like a kid you know.'

That comment struck a nerve with her, more than that, it just hurt. 'Follow you around?' she repeated sounding very beaten down, 'is that honestly how you feel? You think I'm just some child?' She felt very insulted—he managed to diminish her status from a girlfriend to a mere annoying child following him. Renji had gone out countless amounts of times for walks, coffee, lunches, dinners, pub nights with his friends since they had started to date. Was it normal to wait this long before meeting your boyfriend's friends? Especially when they all lived on the same university campus as you? Rangiku knew all Shuuhei's friends, and was going out with all of them rather frequently. Something wasn't sitting right with Rukia, and it showed on her face. Renji came over reluctantly (or so it seemed) and hugged her. He was having issues walking, balancing seemed quite the challenge as his hold on Rukia seemed more to support himself than to comfort her.

'Hey I'm sorry I didn't meant that,' he said affectionately, 'I'm sorry I burst in like that okay?'

Rukia held him back, mostly to stop him from knocking her over. 'Whatever,' she responded; desperately wishing he would back off of her. She was angry—this conversation was far from over, but there was no point at the moment considering he was clearly affected from the alcohol he had been consuming. A question came into her head, 'what were you doing here anyway? I thought you were at the senior's pub…'

'I was,' Renji admitted, 'a few of us came this way, thought we'd reminisce about the good ol' days of our youth as first years.'

Rukia nodded, not really knowing what to make of this. She didn't like how strongly suspicious of Renji she felt. It was irritating to her:

'_There's no smoke without fire'_ her mother often said.

'_But it is hard to see smoke in a fog_,' her father would always add.

Rukia knew she was in a fog of confusion with Renji, and only time was going to be the wind to clear the fog away; any hidden flames of distrust would soon be revealed. Rukia just dreaded what may have occurred if she hadn't been there to see him with that girl… All of a sudden, a voice called out, 'hey! Renji!' it was a girl's voice, the girl Renji had been dancing with.

'It was great meeting up with you again Renji!' she called out to him, running over towards him 'I better starting seeing more of you, call me about that party Thursday!' She gave Rukia a sharp, demeaning look of superiority, and then left with her friends.

Rukia had never been able to justify the killing of another human being in her life—until that very moment. She felt the hatred shoot out from her eyes towards Renji. 'Seems like you did a lot of "reminiscing" with "old friends" Renji.' With that, Rukia began to head home, wanting desperately to get away from him.

Renji began to run after her and grabbed her arm, 'Rukia, Rukia I'm sorry okay? Nothing happened! I'm sorry it just… you know I—'

'You know, I could forgive the dancing Renji. I could get over that, but lying about another woman really isn't sitting well with me. No wonder you never want me out with you!'

'Rukia if you would just shut up and let me—'

'No! I won't shut up Renji. I have no interest in your pathetic excuses all right? I'll do you a favour; I will make this easy for you. We are done! I will no longer be following you around all right? Goodbye!'

'Don't walk off from me Rukia! It was just dancing! I am not cheating on you!'

'How can I be sure?' Rukia asked him not really expecting an answer, 'I can't be! You know, it was nice being with Ashido tonight, at least he enjoyed being around me!'

Renji looked as though an evil force of anger had just possessed him. 'What the hell did you say?' he asked.

Rukia realized that comment may have been overboard, but she did not care at this point. 'You heard what I said loud and clear. I'm tired of feeling like I don't mean anything to you! It was just nice to spend time with someone who—'

'You damn well better take back what you said Rukia,' Renji said, approaching her threateningly.

Rukia felt herself walking backwards from him. She was forcing herself to remain brave. 'Is that a threat? I am not afraid of you Renji.'

'So you'd rather be with that idiot? Is that what you want?'

'I want to be with someone who actually enjoys being with me! Not someone who runs about with other women!' She began to storm off just as he approached her.

Renji began pleading with her, trying to stop her with his strength, grabbing her arm. 'Rukia god dammit! You know I'm in love with you! Why would you think I would do that?'

Rukia couldn't believe his words. _He loves me? How long have I wanted to hear that, of course he says it now… _'Please just get away, get off!' Rukia threw his arms off of her. Tears came but she fought with all her might to keep them from falling.

Renji began to get very anxious and upset. He held her face in his hands gently, not wanting to let her go, 'I love you Rukia,' he said, his eyes so passionately piercing into hers. 'Please Rukia, I'm sorry.'

It didn't matter what he said because she was done. She had been feeling so off about the two of them, their age, their friends, their lives it seemed were just not working. Although they both wanted to, they resisted touching one another. 'Rukia,' he began again, 'I—I can't let you end this…'

Rukia stopped and turned around. 'Who is she Renji?'

'We… we dated, back in first year, things didn't work out obviously. We have kept in contact… she's a good friend, nothing more. She's interested in Izuru actually, which is why she was asking about Thursday.'

'Right,' Rukia replied. _This would explain her cold stare in my direction._ Something was still troubling her. She didn't want to have to say it, but Rukia was starting to think there wasn't any other option, 'Renji I… I don't think we're supposed to be together anymore. We quarrel constantly and I just feel there are always problems between us. You're, you're so much older and have this established life and I just, I don't fit in it.'

'Rukia don't say that,' Renji said pulling her close to him, 'I am sorry I've been making you feel that way, but you're wrong. We're just working out some issues.'

'We'll only grow apart if we stay together,' Rukia said, managing to keep her tears locked up, 'if we don't break up now life will just separate us.'

'Hey, I promised you that I wasn't going anywhere Rukia. I do not want to lose you. You're the best thing I have in my life. I can't imagine my future without you in it, it's impossible.'

Tears escaped from her eyes and Rukia slowly pulled herself away from Renji's touch. 'I'm sorry Renji, I just don't know if can do this…'

She clenched her fists and proceeded to run home. Renji did not chase after her. Rukia felt numb to everything right now, even though she was crying she felt no tears on her skin. She got into her apartment and lay on her bed, staring aimlessly out of the window. Reaching behind her headboard, she picked up her diary but could not muster the strength or courage to write down felt her sadness overtake her. She threw her diary on the opposite side of her room and tried to just fall asleep on her bed.

The image of Renji and that girl would not leave her head. Did he have no sense? Or did he really just not want to be with her like that anymore? _But then why did he say those sweet things…_ Rukia felt stupid to think it, especially now, but when she first met Renji, she could just easily picture how their lives would be as they grew older. She just… felt as though they were meant to be almost. What else could explain why she adored him so much? As much as her brain told her she was doing the right thing, the most logical thing… she felt such growing despair and emptiness at the thought of not having Renji in her life.

But would he really wait three years for her to graduate? Then of course there was medical school after that. He would surely move on to some amazing career, he was so brilliant after all. He had many connections, research opportunities, and was a sure acceptance to any and all the graduate schools he had applied to. Would they be able to manage a long distance relationship? Rukia felt as though her worries had transformed themselves into hands that were strangling her. She did her best to blank her mind, and eventually succumbed to sleep, letting her subconscious claim her mind…

%%%%%

Hisana nearly jumped through the roof at the sound of the house phone ringing. Calming down, she answered it. 'Hello?' _Who could this be…_

'Hisana? It's Tatsuki, what are you still doing at mum's?' she asked.

'Oh nothing just, just going through some of her belongings. To organize and what not,' Hisana answered, deciding to avoid mentioning the diary to her sister for now.

Tatsuki sighed, 'I'm sorry I can't help you, it's just… it's still so fresh in my head and—'

'No, Tatsuki please don't worry I understand. It is very hard for me as well.'

'Shall we have dinner together tomorrow? Or coffee? Whatever is easiest.'

'Yes, perhaps coffee is better, I doubt I will be finished going through mum's belongings by tonight.'

'Wow, mum was a closet packrat hey? Never would've thought. I will call you tomorrow Hisana, take care.' Tatsuki then hung up the phone.

Hisana rested the phone back down and stretched, standing up and moving her legs. She looked back at the diary on the bed. She had been at her mother's way longer than intended. Sitting back down, Hisana took out a few photos her mother had placed in the diary. There was a photo of a couple, on the back of the picture was her mother's writing 'Mum and Dad' it said. _These are my grandparents. _Then there was a picture of Rukia with two younger girls, and their mother labeled 'Me, Yuzu, Karin, Mum—the Kurosaki women!' Karin had such a striking resemblance to Tatsuki, and Hisana couldn't get over how much she and her mother looked alike. Looking at the next photo it was a picture of Hisana's grandfather and a very handsome looking young man on the back it read 'Father and Ichigo'. Hisana felt a tear escape, Ichigo was so identical to her late brother Kaien; it was unbelievable. The last photo was one of Ichigo and Rukia, holding one another and smiling. The inscription on the back though was not in Rukia's writing. Based on what it said, Hisana knew it had to be Ichigo's. Her eyes widened in shock and she instantly began to continue to read the diary… It was already beginning to darken but there was no way Hisana could put it down now.


	8. To Act on Impulses

thanks for the reviews guys!

just realized i didn't do a disclaimer! yikes... so here it is: i don't own bleach! never will!

there's a... dirrty/intimate moment in this chapter... it's not meant to be crude/raunchy but if you wish to fast forward i've marked that section with stars ** not sure if i should change the rating to M??? Please let me know =S don't want to offend anyone...

8

The first week passed by rather slowly. Rukia spent the remainder of the week and all the weekend in her apartment and at her favourite study spot in the library. She had not even told Rangiku until the start of the second week…

Rangiku had come home with tears pouring from her eyes. She was practically in hysterics. Rukia instantly threw down her textbooks and went to console her friend. Guiding her to the couch, Rangiku tried to calm her crying, leaning on Rukia as Rukia gently rubbed her friends back. Rukia knew better than to ask what was wrong—Rangiku would tell her when she was ready.

'He's leaving,' Rangiku said, her voice shaking.

Rukia was unsure of what she meant, 'who is Rangiku?'

'Shuuhei, he's leaving,' Rangiku said, sitting up and wiping her tears away. 'He's just told me now.'

'For what? Where?'

'There is some military promotion, something or other. His father is pushing him to do it. I don't blame him, I mean, he's brilliant, he deserves recognition for his hard work it is just…' Rangiku paused for a moment. Rukia reached to the side table to grad a handkerchief passing it to her. Rangiku continued, 'Rukia I have never, ever had a guy tell me I have a lovely personality, I've never had a guy look into my eyes when he talks to me. Shuuhei listens to what I have to say, and he treats me so well. Christ, we haven't even had sex Rukia…'

Rukia couldn't help but give a look of shock at what her friend was saying. Rangiku went through men as though they were garments; she always had an endless supply of suitors. But never had she ever cried over one, or spoken of one in such an affectionate way—mostly because none had ever treated her decently. 'Where is he going?' Rukia questioned.

'Just London, but it is still far. He, he doesn't want to do the distance thing.'

Rukia hugged her friend, letting her cry a bit more on her shoulder, 'well it looks like we're back to just having each other.'

Rangiku scoffed at this, 'please you have your jackass twit of a boyfriend still. I'm sorry, Rukia, I didn't mean that I'm just… bitter…'

'No, no it's fine Rangiku,' Rukia insisted, 'Renji and I actually ended things, over a week ago now.'

Rangiku's jaw dropped, 'excuse me? What? Why didn't you tell me? Why? What happened?'

'Easy on the interrogation,' Rukia said jokingly, 'we're just not on the same page for anything. I just don't see us lasting.'

'Really?' Rangiku asked in disbelief, 'well I mean he could be a complete jerk but, you seemed so attached to one another… I guess we both fell victim to the Zaraki men hey?'

'Never again,' Rukia said with a smile.

'Christ no,' Rangiku said in agreement, 'shall we have tea and, just… talk? Relax tonight?'

'Most definitely,' Rukia replied.

%%%%%

The next week was a bit easier, with Rangiku and Rukia providing one another with moral support Rukia found herself laughing again. She felt awful for Rangiku but at least she was spared of a burden that Rukia had to worry about—running into her ex. Rukia was very nervous about running into Renji; as much as she tried to tune out to her surroundings so as not to notice him, she always had an eye out for him. It was strange how she felt; she did not want to see him, yet at the same time she couldn't bear the thought of never seeing him again. He would probably not want to talk to her, or yell or just be distant. There was no way he would want to ever reconsider dating her again, so Rukia pushed those thoughts from her head.

'Well I'm going to head to my Women's Group meeting, you sure you don't want to come?' Rangiku asked, interrupting her thoughts.

Rukia tilted her head, 'what? Oh! No, no thanks Rangiku. I have a feeling if I joined something like that I wouldn't end up going. I always get distracted. Have fun though, I will see you later.'

'See you at home!' Rangiku said as she waved and left.

Rukia watched her friend run off. _I miss Renji_. She scolded herself for thinking that, but it was true. _It's only been two weeks, just toughen up. Maybe I will go home this weekend—_ SMACK! Rukia walked into someone, this time so spaced out she dropped her books, and herself on the ground. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I—'

'No it's my fault. Are you okay? I'm sorry I—'

_That voice, his voice_, _no it can't be… _Rukia looked across from her and saw Renji—who was also knocked to the ground, sitting across from her. 'Seriously?' Rukia said in shock, mostly to herself.

Renji smiled at her shyly, 'you really need to learn to watch where you're going.'

Rukia felt herself blush and looked away from him instantly. 'Yeah…' she said quietly.

Renji moved to stand up and held out his hand for Rukia. She took it reluctantly, so as not to be rude, slowly letting him help her up. He did not let go of her hand once they stood, and she couldn't bear to take it away. 'How are you?' he asked her.

'Fine, really fine,' she responded, 'and yourself?"

'It's odd how I feel actually,' he said.

'Oh?'

'I feel extraordinarily happy again,' he began, gripping her hand tightly, 'but at the same time, I'm rather distressed because I know that the happiness is going to go away… as soon as you walk away.'

Rukia could not help the ends of her lips that curled up into a smile. She looked away from Renji, who moved closer, taking her other hand. He leaned close so he was practically whispering in her ear, 'I've learned something in our time apart.'

'What is that?' she inquired slowly.

'That I cannot be without you. Rukia I miss you, so much.'

Rukia sighed and backed away from him, 'I miss you too Renji, but it's the right thing to do…'

'No it isn't,' he interjected, 'please give me another chance. I was an arrogant, stupid, dumbass boy and I'm sorry. I had the love of my life in my arms and I was the biggest idiot and lost you… and now, now you're here again and I'm terrified this is the last time you'll let me be this close to you…'

'Renji it's not that easy—'

'Hey Renji!' it was Izuru yelling, running towards them. 'Hey Rukia,' Izuru greeted, 'sorry to interrupt but Renji, we got a rugby game in half and hour! Coach needs us to warm up.'

'I'll be there, tell him I'll be late,' Renji told him. '

'No,' Rukia said, 'you'll be on time Renji, I won't keep you any longer, it was nice to see you Izuru.' Rukia quickly grabbed her books and walked away hurriedly away from them.

Renji watched her go and felt the empty hole in his chest grow. 'I'm not going to get her back am I?'

Izuru shrugged, honestly not going what to say, 'I dunno mate, she seems very cross with you. Plenty of fish in the sea I guess?'

'No,' Renji responded, 'in my heart there's only Rukia.'

%%%%%

Rukia sat down at a bench under a tree and gave herself a while to regain her composure. That was definitely not how she expected a run in with Renji to be. _He still loves me, he still wants us to be together…_

'Excuse me, sorry Rukia?' a girl's voice asked.

Looking up Rukia recognized the petite brunette as Momo, one of Renji's really close friends. 'Yes, I am… it is Momo correct?'

'Yes, uh, may I sit down with you?' she asked timidly.

Rukia nodded, 'oh yes, yes of course. Sorry I was just, um…'

'Crying?'

'Yeah.' Rukia had no real way to cover that one up.

'Renji told me you two broke up, or were taking time apart. I am sorry to hear that.' Momo patted Rukia's shoulder tenderly.

'Yes, well sometimes things just don't work out right?'

'Rukia, I hope you don't think it is too bold of me to say this but, Renji changed after he met you. In a really big, drastic way.'

Rukia wasn't sure if Momo meant this in a good way or bad way. She seemed incredibly nice, Renji had always been telling her of the kind things Momo did for the guys. 'Oh?' she asked nervously.

'He's always been a bit silly, you know, what I mean. But he talks about you constantly, specifically you and him together. He, oh I probably shouldn't say but, he is really, madly, passionately in love with you.'

Rukia felt the tears starting to rise up again. 'I'm not so sure… because well…'

'Oh darling, I know you must be furious he rarely invites you. He's just… nervous, not that that's a valid reason. Renji went from being a guy who was determined to just be single, live the bachelor life. Since he met you Rukia, well he's changed completely in such a short time. It's scary I'm sure you've felt that at some point.'

It was true, Rukia had. She couldn't believe how fast and instantaneously her feelings for Renji had grown. 'Did he, did he tell you about that night we broke up?'

'Yes,' Momo admitted, 'that stupid cow. She's always causing trouble. But Rukia, Renji has never and I mean never been unfaithful to you. I don't drink and I am with these guys all the time at school. He seriously talks and thinks about you nonstop. I would tell you if he was two-timing on you Rukia because well, let's face it. This is man's world. If we women don't stick together we have nothing.'

Rukia felt comforted by Momo's words. It was nice hearing that Renji did say sweet things when she wasn't around. 'Well maybe we should try again…'

'I'm not going to tell you what to do Rukia, but I think you should know that true love is so scarce in this world. Many people will not have the fairy tale happy ending and not by choice. You and Renji I know could have that. Don't wish away love Rukia you'll regret it more than anything if you do.'

Those words, _don't wish away love…_ hit Rukia hard. That was exactly what she was doing. She was pushing Renji away. Sure they had things to work out but, they had a genuine care for one another. They never meant to hurt one another intentionally. 'What should I do to get him back?' Rukia asked.

Momo smiled happily, 'you don't have to do anything love.'

'But where, how… I don't… I can't…'

'Well I'm going to watch the boys' rugby game in about an hour or so. We'll see a good bit before the end if you want to join me. I have some studying to do prior to,' proposed Momo.

'Sounds brilliant, if you don't mind me tagging along.'

'Not at all!' Momo said excitedly, 'I've been dying to get to know you! For my master's I am thinking of researching the chronic moronic nature of males, what are your thoughts on this?'

Rukia laughed and the girls went to go and study before heading out.

&&&&&

Rukia and Momo had the most honest of intentions to get some studying done, but ended up laughing and talking the whole time before heading over to the boys' rugby game. Momo told Rukia all about her crush on Toshiro, who was the youngest (not to mention shortest) captain of the rugby team there had ever been at the university. Rukia was so happy talking with Momo, it was nice to finally be conversing with one of Renji's friends. She was very nervous about going to the game, but Momo assured her it would do nothing but make Renji's day.

They got to the sidelines and Rukia instantly spotted Renji on the field. She instantly noticed how incredibly good-looking he looked in his rugby attire. He was intensely focused on the game. Momo excitedly pointed out Toshiro, who was a small guy with hair so blonde it looked white, and big blue eyes. He was barking out orders at all of the boys.

'He's loud for looking like such a tyke,' Rukia said laughing.

Momo laughed as well, 'oh shush, I know he's not very tall but I just adore him so much.'

Rukia suddenly saw darkness as two hands came from behind her covering her eyes. Turning around, Rukia saw Rangiku and Shuuhei laughing together. 'Did I scare you Rukia?' Rangiku asked playfully, 'look who came to surprise me?' She was smiling lovingly at Shuuhei.

'Please it would take more than that to scare me,' Rukia said, 'hello Shuuhei, it is nice to see you again.'

'Hello Rukia,' he said smiling, 'I told my brother to quit being such a dumbass. You let me know if he steps out of line.'

Rukia laughed a bit. 'Will do. Oh, sorry this is Momo. Momo this is Rangiku and I'm sure you know Shuuhei.'

'Oh we've met, it's nice seeing you again Rangiku.'

'You as well Momo, I do hope you'll both meet us at the pub after the game? We're heading over there with some of the guys now,' Rangiku said.

'Of course my dear! Wouldn't miss it,' Momo replied.

'See you!' Rangiku called as she left arm in arm with Shuuhei.

'So sad he's moving,' Rukia said as they left.

Momo nodded, 'they're so sweet together. Be nice if they could work something out.'

Their attention was soon alerted back to the game. It was nearing the end, and the game was tied. A few fights had broken out, Renji getting in one even, but the referee had been quick to act at breaking them up. The other team had almost scored, they seemed very evenly matched in skill. Rukia was starting to feel apprehensive their team would win, until Izuru managed to get the ball, and began to run, dodging the others as best as he could. Renji leapt out from behind Izuru, running at hell's speed. Izuru managed to pass the ball to Renji before being tackled down. Renji quickly faked his way around an oncoming player, somehow managing to jump over someone else before making it behind the line, planting the ball firmly on the ground before members of the other team jumped on him. They had won! Momo, Rukia and the rest of the crowd began cheering insanely. Renji had just scored the winning goal! Their team pulled the other team's member's off Renji who stood up, merely nodding and giving his teammates some casual high fives. He didn't look overly thrilled at his victory. Rukia noticed he had a gash on his forehead, which was probably less serious than it looked.

'What are you waiting for Rukia? Go to him,' Momo urged.

Rukia dropped her books aside and ran over closer to where Renji was. She was nervous; maybe he had given up on her after their earlier encounter. The minute Renji saw her, he blinked, looking as though he had seen something impossible like a unicorn. Then a huge grin appeared on his face and on Rukia's, she couldn't help it. He began to run towards her and she began running to him, not even concerned about the mud that splattered on her clothes. They stopped in front of one another, timidly smiling, each hesitant to be the first to reach out to the other.

'Rukia, I… I can't believe you're here,' he said.

'Yeah, I… I ran into Momo and we, she, told me to come and watch the game.'

Renji smiled, knowing how being able to hang out with Momo must've made Rukia's day. 'She's a nice girl hey?'

'Incredibly, we get on really well,' Rukia replied.

'Look, Rukia I—'

'No Renji, it's all my—'

'Hardly, I'm such a—'

'I love you… Renji,' Rukia said looking earnestly up at him. 'I don't want to wish love away, when I was so lucky that you came into my life.'

Renji wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. She responded just as passionately and the kiss quickly deepened, her arms tightly holding onto him. Sounds of hooting and cheering from Renji's teammates interrupted them, causing them to break off one another laughing. Renji told them to piss off and picked Rukia up to carry her back off the field where it was less muddy.

'Wait while I go change quickly okay? Then, come with me to the bar for a bit? Just to celebrate, then we'll do whatever we want… does that sounds okay?' he asked.

'Perfect,' Rukia replied.

'I love you,' he said kissing her again, 'you're not ever leaving my side again.'

'They'd have to drag me forcefully,' she responded, 'now hurry along and get yourself decent.'

&&&&&

The evening had been the most fun Rukia thought she had had all year on campus. Every one of their friends was there. Rangiku and Shuuhei were all over one another, having a great time. Momo got to be with Toshiro, and Rukia was with Renji. It was a great celebration, everyone was just enjoying each other's company. After nine o'clock though, Rukia and Renji headed out hand in hand, perhaps both a little tipsy from the partying.

'Renji you have the most incredible dance moves I think I've seen on a human,' Rukia laughed.

Renji beamed proudly, 'I am a rare gem of talent.'

She rolled her eyes. 'Of course.'

They walked a bit further and Renji stopped and turned to face her. 'Well, this is the halfway point between your place and mine, or is there any other place you want to go?'

Rukia pulled him close to her and kissed him slowly, earning his full attention, 'I've never seen your place.' She had a wonderful, devious look in her eyes.

Renji smiled with interest, 'Rukia Kurosaki I feel like you're implying something dreadfully naughty.'

'So what if it is?' she said, kissing him again, biting his lip as she pulled away this time. Her eyes were looking at him with such want, Renji almost found it intimidating.

'Well, allow me to escort you,' he said presenting his arm for her to grab onto, 'I have always fancied being a tour guide.'

&&&&&

They went to Renji's place, which was a very nice connected-house style home for senior students (with money) at the university. Inside the door, Rukia was impressed with the nice furniture and how tidy it was for two boys. 'Izuru and I aren't actually as big of pigs as we make ourselves out to be,' Renji noted as he collapsed back on his couch.

Rukia smiled, and walked over to Renji and shocked him by sitting on top of him, their faces nearly touching. She moved her hips against him as she adjusted to a more comfortable position. Renji looked in her eyes and gently pulled her face closer, closing the space between them. From her body motions Renji could tell Rukia was implying she wanted something, something more then they had done before… It wasn't like they hadn't been physical, not at all but he knew she was a virgin—and the last thing he wanted to do was pressure her or do something to upset her, especially since they had just gotten back together that day.

****

Pulling away he moved her bang from her face, 'we're a little frisky tonight,' he said trying to gage her mood.

'That a bad thing?' she asked coyly.

'Not at all,' he replied, 'but I—'

He couldn't finish his sentence coherently as Rukia began to unbutton her blouse, revealing her silky white bra—which really did not conceal much.

Rukia knew she was being bold with her actions, but she wanted to be close to Renji, close in a very intimate way. She had never felt more ready to give herself to someone than this night. Maybe the alcohol had calmed her nerves but Rukia felt as though her mind was clear. All she could think about was how in love with Renji she was.

Her hands came down to tug at Renji's shirt pulling it off. She ran her hands up his chest and began to kiss his neck. She felt his hands on her back holding her, his breathing became rushed.

'Rukia, we don't have—'

She silenced him in the only way she knew for sure would work. She began kissing him fiercely, and he let her but only for a moment. Soon they were both fighting for dominance. Rukia let him win and slipped her hand behind her back taking off her bra. Renji must have noticed until she leaned her chest forward against his because when she did, he let out a small groan.

He kissed down her neck and let his hands off her back, moving them from her shoulders, slowly down her chest. He leaned back to be able to fully see her body. She was so breathtaking. Rukia couldn't hold back her gasps as he began to kiss in between her breasts, shuddering as his mouth enclosed around one of them.

Before she knew it, Renji was carrying Rukia upstairs to his room. Everything was off except their underwear. He laid her down gently on his bed and gently moved over top of her. He ran his hand down her face and kissed her softly.

'I love you,' he said softly to her, 'we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.'

Rukia smiled at him and took his hand in hers, 'I want to Renji.'

He still felt hesitant. He was scared of her hating him, or hurting her. Rukia moved up to kiss him and Renji let his worrying go aside. His hands moved their way down, removing her underwear. Rukia blushed having never revealed this part of her body to anyone before. Suddenly, she felt like holding back. But when Renji began to touch in between her thighs she relaxed in his arms again.

It felt strange at first, having him touch her in such an intimate way but after the initial discomfort Rukia found herself lost in his touches, moaning louder as he continued. Renji was losing control the more he touched her. She was so tight, and so wet her body was tempting him to pleasure her more. He felt her fingers sneak below the waistband of his boxers, pulling down. Renji quickly took them off. Rukia saw _him_ and looked away. Sure she had felt his manhood before but to see it shocked her slightly. Maybe she wasn't ready… _no everything is just new, it's different_.

Renji began to rub the tip of erection against her entrance. He wanted to push in so badly. Rukia calmed down and kissed Renji deeply. 'Renji,' she said, panting slightly, 'please, I want to feel you so badly…'

The sound of her lustful voice, begging for him killed any last bit of self-restrain or doubts he had. Renji kissed her, hard and began to press himself against her. He was met with strong restraint from her muscles and slowed down, moving in cautiously.

Rukia had expected it to happen faster. She was shocked at the instant pain she felt as Renji starting to press inside of her. She bit her lip, thinking it would just be over soon, but the pain just grew causing her to let out a painful cry. Renji stopped instantly and looked at her.

'I'm sorry,' he said quietly.

'It's fine, I'm fine,' she replied. She wanted to ask if it was supposed to hurt this much…

Her eyes communicated everything. 'I don't want to hurt you,' he said softly.

'It's okay,' she insisted. Wanting him to continue.

Renji pressed himself in a little faster this time, keeping his eyes on Rukia's face to make sure he wasn't hurting her. Her muscles were so tight, completely enclosed around him. The stinging pain instantly came back to Rukia, she felt as though if he were to continue he would rip her in half. She turned her head bit her lip harder, drawing blood to prevent herself from crying out again. Renji pulled out a bit sensing her discomfort, he moved his hand to massage her gently before pressing further in again. Rukia let out a soft, yet distressful moan this time cringing away from him in pain. She didn't understand why this was hurting so badly.

****

Renji stopped instantly and moved away from her to give her a bit of space. He took hold her hand gently squeezing it to comfort her.

'It's fine,' Rukia insisted, 'I'm okay.'

Renji shook his head, 'Rukia I don't want to do this if I'm hurting you.'

Rukia nodded and although Renji wasn't 'rejecting' her, she couldn't help but feel that way. She felt unattractive, like something was wrong with her… why was her body not letting this happen? She wiped a tear hoping Renji didn't see it. He smiled at her and moved so that he had her enclosed in his arms, her head resting on his chest. 'Come here,' he said warmly, his breathing calming down, 'I love holding you like this.'

This made Rukia smile. She held Renji tighter, never before feeling so connected, or attached to someone like this before. Still she was a little disappointed, embarrassed; she had always pictured her first time being so in the moment, so easy, so painless…

Renji sensed she was worried about what had happened. He leaned over and kissed her playfully on the cheek. 'Hey beautiful.'

She laughed lightly, 'hello handsome.'

He pulled the blankets up over both of them, and held Rukia tightly against him. He loved the scent of her skin, it was intoxicating, completely overpowering him. Rukia felt safe in his strong arms. She knew now that everything would be all right, that Renji would keep her heart safe.

'I've heard from most of the graduate schools and jobs I applied for,' he said suddenly, breaking the silence.

'Oh?'

'Yeah, I've been accepted to all of them,' he told her.

'Renji that's amazing! Congratulations,' she said hugging him.

'I'm staying in England, I'm staying close to you,' he said.

'Renji you can't deny yourself opportunities because of me…'

'I'm not Rukia. I told you, I wasn't going anywhere and I'm keeping my word.'

_Dear Diary, _

_I am the happiest girl that ever existed. I cannot begin to count my blessings in life. Things are going so well, school, Renji, family (well Ichigo is as miserable as always...). For the first time ever I feel stability, I feel excitement. I am incredibly excited about every new day life gives me. I cannot wait for the future, bring it on! I feel invincible. To think it is all because I took a risk. Falling in love with Renji was the best thing that's ever happened. I cannot believe how incredibly fortunate I am. Things couldn't possibly get any better._

_Love always,_

_—Rukia._

_%%%%%_


	9. Irritable Moods

9

Christmas, 1938

Christmas time came very fast, which was a relief for Rukia for more than one reason. It meant that her first semester of school was complete, she could see her family again, and more time with Renji. Since their argument that one night, things had been great, for the most part. She knew Momo, Izuru, and some of Renji's other school friends very well now. Renji had also taken her to his home and she now knew Ikkaku, Yumichika, Shuuhei, and Yachiru really well. Yachiru really liked giving nicknames kindly calling Rukia "Ruka" although Rukia speculated this was because Yachiru just couldn't pronounce Rukia properly. It was nice to be able to double date with Rangiku and Shuuhei. Lately, Rangiku had not seemed as depressed as before about Shuuhei's forthcoming move, which Rukia assumed was due to the fact his departure date had been postponed for a few months.

There was something bothering Rukia though. Ever since Renji and her had tried to sleep together, he had been distant from her physically. Rukia supposed it was better than him being overly forceful and demanding intimacy from her—but his complete lack of initiating it and avoidance of it when she would try concerned her. He did not seem open to discussing his withdrawnness either. His temper also was short, particularly when they were alone together. He had even snapped at Izuru and Momo one night when they were out at a pub night. Rukia could dismiss his behaviour then because well, Renji could get a little edgy with alcohol. But it was when he grew tense and retorted at her so viciously she grew very uncomfortable.

_Two Weeks Ago…_

_Rukia and Renji had been kissing one another heatedly. She was wearing only a short skirt and was straddling Renji on his bed. His hands were roaming all over her body, their moans growing more needing, more desperate… He was whispering huskily in her ear how badly he wanted her_

_Maybe he wants to try again, Rukia had thought to herself. She slowly adjusted herself so that she was almost directly above him when—_

'_Rukia no,' Renji said abruptly, the sensual atmosphere completely eradicated by his firm tone. _

_Rukia felt herself blush, embarrassed slightly. 'Why Renji? I want to…'_

'_We should stop,' he said, taking his hands off of her. _

_Rukia was confused, he had never been so upfront like this before, he had never outright rejected her like this before. 'Renji I don't understand why—'_

'_For Christ sake's Rukia!' he exclaimed standing up and putting his clothes back on. _

_Rukia scrambled to get her clothes back on, what on earth was bothering him? 'Renji you've been like this for weeks, can't we talk about it?'_

'_I don't want to talk about everything with you okay? There's nothing to talk about,' he muttered. He grabbed a pack of cigarettes laying on his night table and headed out to his balcony to smoke. _

_Rukia did not care for when he smoked, she detested the smell. Most of her friends did it but she was not really one to follow trends. Cautiously, she followed Renji outside. She did not dare say anything, fearing he would snap at her. Instead she timidly began to rub her hand on his back in circular motions, eventually wrapping her arms around his waste, embracing him from behind. 'I love you,' she said shyly in a voice just above a whisper, 'I'm sorry, it's all right if you don't want to talk to me.'_

_She heard Renji sigh exasperatedly. Dreading he would bark at her again, Rukia went to leave but soon found herself wrapped up in his arms. Renji kissed the top her head and held her so close to him her breathing was almost strained. _

'_I'm sorry Rukia,' he said, 'I'm being a giant prick, I know I am.'_

'_No,' she said, lying. _

_He laughed lightly, 'yeah, I am. You're too sweet to me you know that? I'm just… there's a lot going on but… forget it. Final exams will be done soon and we'll have Christmas break right?'_

'_Yeah,' she said, still unsure what to make of his recent aggression. _

'_I love you, ' he told her, kissing her lips. _

_Rukia did not like the musty taste of tobacco but did not object to his acts of affection. She decided not to further press Renji to talk. She could only hope that he would come to her when he was ready to talk. _

%%%%%

Once final exams were done and out of the way, Rukia could not be more relieved to be heading home. Renji's mood had minimally improved after the completion of exams, and she was beginning to think some time apart would do them both good. Her family seemed happy to see her, the only exception of course being her brother, who since her arrival at home that day, had been absent. Rukia felt as though they had become strangers now, as though if she were to address him in their familiar, comfortable manner it would be inappropriate. The worst part of it all was Rukia did not have a clue how to fix it, or how to understand precisely what was going on in Ichigo's head. Her father seemed out of character as well, he wasn't as joyful or energetic. It was deeply concerning to Rukia.

&&&&&

On her first evening back at home, Rukia was decorating the family Christmas tree with Yuzu and Karin. Her parents were out at a Christmas party. She would be watching the girls with Ichigo when he got home from wherever he was.

'How is your boyfriend Rukia?' asked Yuzu excitedly.

'He is great, he has to be the greatest boyfriend there ever was,' Rukia said smiling.

Karin, who had been particularly silent that morning rolled her eyes, 'I wish you'd shut up about him, or get rid of him.'

Rukia looked at Karin concernedly, 'why do you say that?'

'Because ever since you started seeing him Ichigo's been in the worst of moods.' Karin spoke with an angry sadness. She wanted their family to be happy, and it was just becoming obvious now to Rukia how Ichigo's behavior was affecting everyone.

'Karin remember what dad and mum said, it's puberty!' Yuzu scolded, saying it as though puberty were some dreaded illness.

Rukia had to laugh at this, perfectly able to envision her father and mother teasing Ichigo this way. 'Karin I am sure whatever is bothering Ichigo has nothing to do with Renji.' Rukia knew Karin was more intuitive than that and would not let Rukia off easily.

'You quit coming home as often,' Karin pointed out, 'I have hardly seen you since summer.'

'Well that was also because I had exams, not because of Renji.'

Tension was growing between the sisters, so Yuzu naturally felt she had to intervene. 'I love Christmas!' Yuzu said in a voice almost at a yell, 'how about we do some baking tonight for mummy and daddy?'

Karin and Rukia looked at one another making a silent agreement to go along with Yuzu's idea of changing the subject. 'Sounds like a great plan! Let's finish the tree so we can start as soon as possible,' Rukia said.

'Great! I will go get my best baking books! One second!' Yuzu said, running off to her room.

It was just Karin and Rukia. They looked very similar, except for their eye colours. Rukia's eyes were a deep blue while Karin, like Ichigo and Yuzu had brown. Rukia and Karin had started drifting apart when this whole Renji fiasco began. Karin, though she would never admit it, was very similar to Ichigo personality wise. She was protective of everyone in their family, and really did not like it when they would hurt one another. Rukia knew she was too young to understand what Ichigo was feeling, not that Rukia herself understood Ichigo's behavior that well.

'Karin I—'

'Would you choose Renji over Ichigo?' asked Karin, eyeing Rukia coldly.

'What's that supposed to mean?' asked Rukia in response.

'If you leaving Renji would make Ichigo happy again would you?' Karin was looking at her with such sincerity and sadness.

Rukia hardly knew how to answer this question. 'Karin, you have to understand I am not trying to upset Ichigo. But all of you have to accept that I am going to get married one day, and there is a great chance that I could marry Renji.'

Karin frowned, 'his hair is weird.'

'It's just how he ties it up,' Rukia replied, semi-agreeing with her sister.

'And he's loud,' she added.

'That is enough out of you,' Rukia said smiling. 'I'm glad you told me your concerns Karin, I promise I will talk to Ichigo okay?'

'You'd better,' Karin said extending her hand for Rukia to shake it, 'it just, he scares me when he gets reclusive like that. He's so on edge all of the time.'

Rukia could not help the strong feeling of guilt that arose in her stomach. 'He must be going through a hard time. He's a strong guy, he will pull himself out of it.'

At that moment a door slammed. Turning their heads to see what the source of the sound was, Ichigo passed by and smiled upon seeing Karin and Rukia decorating the Christmas tree. 'Hello girls,' he said smiling. Karin looked shocked out of her mind.

'Are you okay?' Karin asked, her eyebrow raised in suspicion.

'Of course,' Ichigo replied, smiling notably at Rukia. Normally Rukia would've simply returned a smile his way and not thought about it twice. But something about his demeanor struck her strangely.

'You guys I found two baking books I love and—oh! Ichi! You're home!' Yuzu exclaimed, shocked to see him with a smile on his face.

'Yes, I was just with Zangetsu. Our fencing practice ended earlier than I had previously anticipated,' Ichigo said stretching slightly. 'Where are mum and dad?'

'At father's Christmas party,' Karin answered, 'we didn't want to go so we all stayed home.'

'Right,' Ichigo said, remembering the discussion from earlier, 'well ladies, what is on the agenda tonight?'

'Do you want to bake cookies with us Ichi?' asked Yuzu excitedly, 'I mean, that is if you want to…'

'How could I refuse an offer like that?' he asked, 'what sort of cookies Miss Yuzu?'

'Really? You want to? Okay! Umm, I don't know I was thinking perhaps shortbread? Or, or ginger or, come!' Yuzu grabbed Ichigo's hand eagerly and began to run towards the kitchen.

Karin widened her eyes. 'Guess maybe we have the old Ichigo back for now.' She smiled knowingly at Rukia.

%%%%%

Rukia had a lot of fun baking with her family that night. It had been forever since the four Kurosaki siblings had been together. Yuzu took charge and gave all of them a different job to do. Ichigo was undoubtedly the least graceful in the kitchen, but Rukia was a very close second. He had accidentally dropped eggs on the floor, and Rukia was consistently confusing her tablespoon measurements with her teaspoon ones.

'Well sister,' Ichigo said as Rukia was trying to measure the dry ingredients for the fifth time, 'it appears I have been deceived.'

Rukia glared at him, completely not amused, 'oh?'

Ichigo smirked, 'all these years, I presumed you to be the smart one but you fail at basic literacy, it is completely shameful. You're a disgrace on the Kurosaki name.'

Karin and Yuzu laughed quietly, well as quietly as they could. Rukia playfully stared Ichigo down, and the instant his head was turned she threw an egg at him. Ichigo gasped in disbelief and gave Rukia a look of mischievous anger. 'You will suffer immensely for that.'

'Catch me first you bastard,' she replied. Rukia began to run but Ichigo caught up to her quickly. He tossed a few eggs at her, causing her to shriek.

'You two!' cried Yuzu in a panic, 'stop it! Stop it this instant! You'll make a dreadful mess!' Yuzu then felt something hit her head. Putting her hand on it, she felt that it was cool and sticky. Turning her head to the left, she saw Karin snickering at her. Yuzu frowned and grabbed a ball of cookie dough and threw it towards Karin viciously.

'Ow! Yuzu! When did you get so strong!' Karin yelled, running and frantically grasping for something to toss at her sister.

Rukia was laughing desperately trying to avoid Ichigo. She ran outside but noticed that she did not see him behind her anymore. _Shit…_ Where could Ichigo have gone? Rukia decided to head back inside. She slowly turned around, trying to creep her way back in quietly when—

A huge blast of water struck her from behind! She turned around only to be hit in the face by another large blast of water. Once she wiped the water from her eyes, she saw Ichigo smirking with the hosepipe in hand.

'Told you you'd suffer,' he said grinning like the devil.

Rukia was so pissed. 'You stupid strawberry head!' She leapt forward trying to hit him and wrestle the hosepipe from his grasp.

'You're just slow my midget sister!' he retorted holding it far above her head despite her jumps to grab it.

They continued to fight, laughing hysterically. Rukia felt somewhat at ease despite the commotion, things finally felt normal. Suddenly, Ichigo tripped over the length of the hosepipe and fell, grabbing Rukia with him landing so that she was on top of him.

'Ha!' Rukia cried triumphantly. She grabbed the hosepipe and blasted a shot of water in Ichigo's face.

'Oh you bitch!' laughed Ichigo.

Rukia tossed it aside and was in hysterics at the sight of her defeated brother. Their laughter soon then subsided and Rukia found that they were silent, smiling at one another… Her position on him was rather compromising, perhaps appropriate if they were younger but now at almost nineteen it was hardly so. Ichigo's hands were resting on Rukia's back, their faces were very close. His amber eyes were looking at her with some kind foreign feeling—it was making her uncomfortable. It showed on Rukia's face, she felt her cheeks warm and blush. She moved to stand up quickly.

'Rukia…' began Ichigo getting up to follow her.

'Yes?' she asked flustered.

'What—'

Ichigo was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing. He looked at Rukia confusedly. 'Expecting anyone?' he asked her.

'No,' she answered, her mind no longer as preoccupied on what had just happened. 'Could it be mum and dad?'

'I doubt it, it's still rather early,' Ichigo replied.

Yuzu soon came running outside, 'Ichi! Rukia! Come see who's at the door!'

They followed her hurriedly and made their way to the entrance hall. Awaiting them, having been let in by one of the housekeepers were their cousins: Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, and Uncle Stark. This was quite the shock to the Kurosaki's.

'Oh my god! What are you all doing here?' asked Rukia excitedly.

'Well we heard you were back from university, and missed you at the party so we came to bring the party to you!' Grimmjow replied.

Ulquiorra sneered at the slightly, 'why on earth are you covered in… are those raw eggs?'

'Oh! We were baking!' Yuzu answered.

'I see…' Ulquiorra said, looking more unsure than before.

'Where is Aunty Harribel?' Karin asked.

'She and your mother are striking up a most outrageous storm on the dance floor, I had to make my escape before she insisted I take part,' Stark replied shuddering.

'Well come in, make yourselves at home in the lounge. Umm, we'll join you shortly, perhaps we should make ourselves more presentable,' Rukia said guiding her family in.

Their cousins and uncle settled themselves in, of course helping themselves to the Kurosaki family bar. Isshin prided himself on his extensive liquor collection. Yuzu and Karin at Ichigo's insistence went to change while he cleaned the kitchen. Rukia offered to help him quickly. It was a little strange, they didn't say much to one another but worked fast so they themselves could go freshen up.

Two hours easily sailed by when Isshin, Harribel, and Masaki came home—all three slightly silly from hours of holiday libations. Isshin was overly ridiculously happy to see everyone. He invited their family driver, Edward, join in celebrations with them figuring he had to put up with the three of them on the drive home. 'How nice it is to have the Kurosaki's together!' Isshin yelled.

'Oh boy dad,' Ichigo said rolling his eyes.

%%%%%

It had to be near two in the morning by the time everyone settled down. Yuzu and Karin had long been put to bed and Stark, Harribel, and their boys had gone home. Rukia said goodnight to her parents and headed to her room when Ichigo stopped her.

'Rukia, can I speak with you?' he asked sounding rather formal.

'What is it?' Rukia inquired.

'I… I am really happy you're back,' he said.

'It's nice to be home, I missed everyone,' she replied. There was a silence that followed that was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. _Why is this so weird?_

'Well, I'll let you sleep then, goodnight.' With that Ichigo left for his room, leaving Rukia standing there wondering what the hell was going on in his head.


	10. Slither

10

_Christmas Eve, 1938_

It was very early in the morning Christmas eve when the young voices of two very excited girls echoed through the halls of the Kurosaki manor. 'It's snowing!' Yuzu and Karin cried out loud, 'everyone wake up!'

Rukia stirred in her room, looking at the time. _Seriously girls, it's seven in the morning…_ Despite wanting to stay in her big, warm bed Rukia got up, putting on her slippers and housecoat and heading to the hallway. It was Christmas Eve and for the past few days the family's entire focus had been on Christmas preparations, everything from the dinner to gifts. They would be celebrating Christmas Eve tonight with the Zaraki family who were having a large get together. Rukia was particularly excited because, not only would she get to see Renji, but Rangiku would be there as well. Christmas held so many wonderful memories for Rukia. Her family was always in the spirit, in particular her father.

Renji had barely called her this break. Rukia figured he was just with his family and probably just enjoying being back at home. She still missed him though, and hoped greatly that he would be in a better mood than previously.

Exiting her room, Rukia found the girls at the end of the hall staring out of the grand floor to ceiling window at the snowflakes. 'Rukia isn't it beautiful?' Yuzu asked excitedly.

'Oh my goodness!' Masaki exclaimed from behind them, having just woken up herself. 'Oh girls this is just divine!'

'May we play in it?' Karin asked, 'please mum please?' She looked as though she were about to burst from excitement.

'Of course!' Isshin answered enthusiastically bursting in from around the corner, 'we will have a Kurosaki-Zaraki family snowball fight tonight at their residence! We shall practice promptly beforehand after breakfast!'

'Isshin I really don't think that—' began Masaki, who no doubt was concerned with final arrangements for tonight that still had to be taken care of.

'Yeah! Snow fight!' the twins exclaimed jumping up and down.

'Let's go for breakfast now!' Karin said, her and Yuzu running down the stairs.

Rukia chuckled. 'Well, they'll be burnt out that's for sure.' She adored her younger sisters, loving how they were still so greatly pleased by the simplest things. It was nice to be able to forget the tedious stresses of life and just enjoy something peaceful like a snowfall.

'Isshin honestly, how are we to raise proper young women if you encourage such foolish antics?' Masaki scolded lightheartedly.

'My darling, Rukia our eldest is the finest proper lady! She is intelligent and dating a most proper young gentleman!'

Masaki sneered at this slightly, a look of strong apprehensiveness evident on her face. 'Well, I'm not sure how I approve of Renji's military career but—'

'He's not in the military,' Rukia interjected. 'He's going to be doing a master's program in physics.'

Rukia honestly didn't think anything of her mother's statement, that is until she saw how her mother was looking at her. Masaki stared wide-eyed at Rukia, almost as though Rukia were in the wrong. Isshin glanced at his wife then smiled back at Rukia. 'Your mother just thinks that cause their whole family is involved in the British Armed Forces love. There's Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Shuuhei, just a mistake.'

Rukia felt very odd seeing her mother's reaction to what she said. Masaki just nodded, 'It is just a confusion darling. No harm done though, now let's see what Mary has planned for breakfast. I am thinking hotcakes perhaps? Could one of you wake Ichigo please, his dreadful habit of sleeping in must cease.' With that her mother excused herself in a hurry.

Isshin was looking at Rukia with a strange, analytical look. 'When does Renji's graduate program start Rukia?' Isshin asked.

'Why do I get the feeling you both are hiding something from me?' Rukia inquired in response.

'We're not hiding anything darling.' Her father answered hastily, as if to leave no room for discussion.

'Mum looked strange, she looked… is there something I should know?'

'Rukia,' Isshin said touching her cheek tenderly to get her to smile, 'there is nothing we are keeping from you. Your mother just… well she isn't exactly fond of General Zaraki. He is very… insistent and pro-military. We… we used to fight alongside one another.' Isshin seemed deeply ashamed of this secret. Clearly the bloodshed and death had been a drastic wake up call to his boyish fantasies of battle.

Rukia already knew this information from eavesdropping on her father and Ichigo's conversation before. She pretended to be shocked though so as not to give herself away. Isshin gave her the same speech he had to Ichigo.

Rukia made sure to listen intently and nod, asking few questions. 'So this is why you are so against Ichigo being in the army.'

'I would be regardless,' Isshin commented. His expression grew stressed at the mention of Ichigo's name; the boy indeed was a subject of much anxiety and contempt in the Kurosaki household. 'I have been rather concerned about your brother for a long while now. He's very irritable then at times he's calm, more or less. How is he with you?'

For some reason, Rukia could not help the blush that appeared on her face. 'He's fine why?' she asked a bit too defensively.

'Ichigo just seems to be having issues with his anger, particularly with me. I told him what I have told you about my past. I fear he resents me for it.' Isshin looked bothered by this.

'I'm sure that isn't the case,' Rukia said trying to sound as comforting as possible. It bothered her to see her dad so upset, considering he was always just a joyful person.

Isshin hugged his daughter. 'Perhaps,' he sighed, 'and everyone said daughters were more difficult than sons. Do you mind waking him up? I fear if I do he may murder me…'

Rukia laughed, recalling the countless times Isshin had woken Ichigo up only to result in a chaotic, blood battle around the house much to their mother's dismay. Rukia agreed, somewhat reluctantly, and went down the hall to knock on Ichigo's door. When no one answered she slowly opened the door to find Ichigo's room completely empty. His bed was made and there was no sign of him anywhere. _Strange, where could he have possibly gone?_ Rukia turned to leave when she spotted something on his desk; it was a pile of pamphlets and letters detailing… careers in the British Army…

'Looking for something?' Ichigo's voice suddenly asked from behind her.

Rukia spun around and saw him standing there, guitar in hand. 'Ichigo!' she exclaimed, 'sorry I just came to wake you.'

'I was in my music room,' he replied, referring to the small storage room attached to his bedroom. 'Is breakfast ready?'

Rukia nodded, trying to hold her inquisitions back. _Is he seriously thinking about the army? _She turned to head out and stopped closing his door, turning back to face him, 'what is this about?' she asked holding up the papers.

'It is none of your concern Rukia,' he said rather harshly.

'Ichigo, what do you think you're doing? You cannot possibly enlist in—'

'It is none of your concern Rukia, I can make my own decisions.' Ichigo grabbed the papers from her hands sharply, putting them back down on his desk.

'None of my concern?' she repeated, 'Ichigo, this isn't some trivial decision, you could die joining the forces… what about medicine? What about—'

'Would you kindly stop it?' he asked angrily, 'you made it very evident you do not want me interfering in your choices so please refrain from doing so with mine. You could never understand my reasons.' Rukia had rarely seen her brother be this genuinely angry before. It made her uneasy but she was just as furious.

'How can you possibly compare a boyfriend to this?' she snapped. Everything, all the tension between them came back to Renji. How was it possible to detest someone this much?

Ichigo turned away from her. 'This conversation is done Rukia. Please leave, I will meet you all downstairs.'

'I could tell dad,' Rukia threatened, but it was weak.

He laughed lightly at this, smirking. 'You wouldn't,' Ichigo said, knowing better, 'you trust me too much.'

Not completely sure what that meant, Rukia slammed Ichigo's door and headed downstairs. She paused to wipe the tears at risk of falling from her eyes. What the hell was going on with her brother, what could possess him to consider something to irrational and stupid?

**%%%%%**

That night at the Zaraki's, Rukia was sure she had never been to a more elaborate party. Their home looked exquisite, everything from the décor, the food, the company—so elegant. Rukia was wearing a royal blue evening dress that was short sleeved, nice and fitted at the top—the bottom trailed down and had a slight train. Yuzu and Karin were wearing the same dress in differing colours; Yuzu's was green while Karin's was red. Rukia thought her mother looked beyond beautiful in her navy blue gown and her father looked dashing in his suit. Ichigo looked brilliant as well. Rukia's goal was to avoid him—especially after their argument this morning. She wanted to enjoy herself tonight and was tired of everyone else's moods dragging down her own.

'Ruka!' she heard a familiar voice exclaim, it was Yachiru, maneuvering her way through the crowds on a scooter.

'Hello Miss Yachiru,' Rukia greeted bending down to hug the little girl.

'I'm going to tell Pineapple-head you're here!' she said jumping up and down excitedly, accidentally tripping over her scooter.

Rukia helped the little girl up. 'Who gave you this thing? It's dangerous.'

'Cue-ball made it for me! He's the bestest biggest baldest brother ever!' Yachiru beamed in response. 'Later Ruka!' With that the little girl was gone. Rukia had to laugh, she was quite the character for such a small girl. She decided to mingle a bit in the crowd, no doubt Renji would come find her.

It didn't take long though for Rukia to grow bored of the dreary talk and excused herself. _Maybe I'll just go powder my nose_… She began to walk down a hallway, trying to recall where Lady Zaraki had said the powder room was. Suddenly, two hands covered her eyes from behind. 'Renji?' she asked hopefully.

She was rewarded with being able to see again, and a loving kiss from Renji. 'Glad you made it,' he greeted, 'I was worried with the snow and all.' He looked unbelievably handsome in his suit, Rukia felt speechless.

'The roads are fine now,' she answered, smiling warmly at him. His warm eyes looked at her so lovingly, she couldn't have been happier to see him. _He looks so good._

Renji smiled and took Rukia's hands, taking her away further down the hall. 'I hope you don't mind if I keep you to myself for a bit?' He wink and from the way he was smirking, she knew what he was implying.

'Not at all,' she answered.

Renji dragged her down one of the grand hallways in his home, sneaking Rukia into a study. There was a large bookshelf against the wall, a billiards table, desk and random chairs. Instantly Renji's lips found Rukia's, devouring them with an animalistic urge.

'God I've missed you,' he said huskily, his hands possessively caressing her body. His kisses were intense as he made his way down her neck and across her collarbone. He couldn't help biting her; he loved how she flinched when he would do it.

'Renji don't, you'll leave marks,' Rukia told him in between moans.

'Well then, everyone will just know you're mine,' he said slyly.

Renji backed them up until Rukia's back was flat against the bookcase. He lifted her up, and Rukia grabbed the shelves to balance herself while wrapping her legs around him. Renji kissed down her chest, pulling the straps so he could tease her breasts with his tongue. His hand slowly snuck in between her thighs. He pleasured her with his fingers, teasing her building up her want for him. Rukia's hands desperately began to undo his belt, pulling off his pants.

'Rukia, are—'

'Yes… Renji I want you… now…' she gasped.

He released himself from his pants, pressing hard on her entrance. Rukia lowered herself from the bookcase, feeling him entering her slowly, with more ease than before when—

'Interrupting something am I?' a voice asked from the doorway. Rukia and Renji's heads turned to see Shuuhei smirking back at them.

'For Christ sakes, can't you knock?' Renji yelled doing up his pants in a hurry, obviously frustrated by the interruption.

'Pardon me brother, I am just… ah, not accustomed to having dinner guests fornicating in the study,' Shuuhei replied wittily, 'no offence meant Rukia, you look lovely tonight by the way.'

Rukia, who had just managed to pull up her dress in time, was as red as a tomato. 'Thanks uh, umm, is Rangiku out there? She must be I really should go see her.' She left abruptly walking out past Shuuhei who no doubt was laughing at her.

**%%%%%**

Rukia stepped into the hallway her mind utterly trying to erase or put aside what had just happened. 'How embarrassing, how bloody embarrassing,' she said aloud to herself. She was so focused on her thoughts that she did not see the gentleman standing before her.

'Oh! I'm so sorry, I sincerely apologize,' Rukia said. _Damn I really must look where I am going…_ She looked up dreading who it may have been, but then she felt time still. The man before her was tall and had short gray hair. His eyes were terrifying; they were devious and overbearing almost. He was wearing a nice suit with many military badges decorating his jacket above his heart.

'There is nothing to apologize for my dear,' he responded, smiling, his grin like a fox, his eyes narrowed into slits so one couldn't quite make out the colour. His voice diffused through Rukia, feeling like cold air. It was suffocating.

'Well… I am sorry…' she felt incredibly fearful of this man before her, hardly able to form a sentence in her mind. She did not feel comfortable with how he was looking at her.

He slowly extended his hand before her, 'how could I be so impolite to such a beautiful young lady? My name is Gin Ichimaru, I work for Aizen Sosuke, the Minister of Defense, and who might you be?'

Rukia took his hand out of politeness. Gin brought it up to his lips and slowly kissed her flesh. Rukia kept a watchful eye on him, feeling as though the world around her was disappearing from existence with every second she spent with this man. 'Rukia Kurosaki,' she replied to him. 'Forgive me again, Mr. Ichimaru.'

'Kurosaki,' Gin repeated, as if tasting the name in his mouth; he stepped forward slightly causing Rukia to move back. 'So you are Isshin and Masaki's daughter then?'

'Yes, yes I am. Do… do you know my parents?' she inquired, hoping to make some conversation so she could get out and away from him. Gin kept advancing towards her. She felt hollow inside.

'Yes I do actually I attended university with your father and mother,' he answered, 'your mother was the most beautiful woman on campus, every man desired her.'

That did it, Rukia felt alarm bells ringing throughout her stomach. _Get out of here, get yourself out!_ Her back hit the wall in the hallway and she found herself pinned against it purely from the presence of Mr. Ichimaru. 'My… my dad is very lucky then.' She did not quite know what to say to that.

'I can see Masaki's features in your face,' he said, moving her bang to the side, 'and you have your father's colouring. But your eyes, they are, they are completely unique.'

'Mr… Mr Ichimaru I think, I should return to my parents,' Rukia said, hoping he would get the hint she was uncomfortable and back off.

'Tell me, how old are ya Rukia Kurosaki?' he asked bringing his face dangerously close to hers.

'Eighteen,' she answered reluctantly, turning her head to the side. Maybe she would have been better off having not said anything.

'So young, so very young,' he hissed, his hand was running down her arm. Rukia felt goosebumps arise on her skin. Gin snickered at this, 'it appears my touch has quite the affect on you Rukia… tell me are you a good gir—'

Gin never got to finish his sentence for within seconds; he was flat up against the wall, Ichigo grasping at his neck keeping Gin firmly in place. 'Could you please explain to me why in god's name you were touching my sister?' Ichigo demanded fiercely.

'Easy, easy now, ya would not want anyone to get hurt now, would ya boy?' Gin asked, smirking devilishly. Rukia moved back away from him.

'Do not patronize me you son of a bitch,' Ichigo said fiercely, 'now tell me why the hell you had your hands on my sister.' Rukia was in disbelief but so very thankful and relieved Ichigo was there now. Who knows what that Gin would have done if Ichigo had not come along…

'I assure you that you misunderstand my actions completely young Kurosaki. I was merely acquainting myself with this lovely young lady, teasing her a little,' Gin told him, Ichigo's grip tightened around Gin's neck at this, causing him to smirk even more. Gin was eyeing Ichigo up and down, 'my, my, you really are Isshin's son.'

'You stay the hell away from her you understand? I should break your gaddamn neck right here.' Ichigo's arms were shaking slightly, his voice spiked with pure hated for the man in front of him.

Gin began to laugh, which caused Ichigo to frown with confusion. 'So why not do it then, young Kurosaki hmm? Why not snap my neck right here, in your hands? In front of Rukia's sweet eyes?'

'Don't say her name you disgusting filth,' Ichigo responded brashly.

'I find your desire to protect your sister admirable young Kurosaki, but your impetuous nature confirms only what I knew from first laying eyes on you.' Gin's smirk grew; turning into the most malicious smile Rukia had ever seen, causing fear to impale Rukia through her heart.

Suddenly, it was no longer Ichigo in control of the situation. Gin had moved, striking Ichigo, withdrawing a knife from up his sleeve. Rukia could not help but to gasp out loud in panic. Ichigo fought back well but Gin, clearly having a military background easily overpowered him. Ichigo soon gasped in pain and looking up Rukia saw that he was cut on his face, bleeding slightly. Gin laughed, 'I would sincerely reconsider who you pick your battles with Kurosaki, for when provoked, I shoot to kill.' Gin's eyes opened and Ichigo was paralyzed from the site of his malevolent, red eyes.

Footsteps soon filled the hallway, 'what is going on here?' The voice was stern, and thankfully belonged to their father. Rukia instantly ran into her dad's arms, causing more concern to arise in Isshin. 'Rukia darling is everything okay?'

Rukia looked back at Gin, who had hidden his blade away and was standing a deceptive, respectful distance from Ichigo now, instantly hiding any evidence of his previous actions. 'Yes,' she lied, now looking at Ichigo who was wiping away the small drips of blood with his band. She noticed there was another man with her father, with brown shaggy-like hair and black glasses.

Isshin now focused on Ichigo, 'why are you bleeding son?'

'It is nothing,' Ichigo replied instantly, 'just a small cut.' Isshin was clearly not pleased with that answer, but knew that pressing Ichigo for more information than he was willing to give was futile.

'We were just getting to know one another,' Gin said in a sickly happy voice, 'isn't that right kids?' Gin nodded at Isshin as a greeting, 'pleasure to be seeing you after all these years Isshin. But you will have to excuse me, I have lingered away from company longer than expected. See you all around.' With that, the fox-faced man made his exit. Rukia still felt petrified from the ordeal, clinging closer to her father. Isshin eyed Gin suspiciously as he walked away.

'You will have to excuse my assistant,' the man with glasses spoke, 'he is most forward and relaxed in social settings where others would find themselves more reserved.' This man was charming, and very handsome. His smile in Rukia's direction set her at ease. 'Forgive me, I am Aizen Sosuke, Minister for Defense.'

'Rukia Kurosaki,' she replied letting him take her hand in his.

Isshin was relied his daughter seemed more at ease now. 'I am sorry about that Rukia, Gin, Aizen and I go way back. Gin is, well not the best at first impressions.' He then turned his focus to Ichigo who looked about reading to kill someone, 'are you all right Ichigo?'

'Don't bother,' Ichigo said sharply.

'So you are Ichigo?' Aizen asked, 'pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard such remarkable things about you.'

Ichigo looked at Aizen cautiously, in turn earning a cautionary glance from Isshin warning Ichigo to be polite. 'It is an honour to meet you Mr. Aizen.'

'How about us men go have a cigar before old man Zaraki makes one of his dreadful speeches, and if I may Rukia, would it be possible to steal a dance from you this evening?' Aizen's soft smile at her caused her to blush slightly.

'Of course Mr. Aizen, I would be delighted,' Rukia replied. Though she was unsure how Renji would take to that.

Isshin gave his daughter a tender kiss on the cheek and began to walk with Sosuke. Ichigo held back to walk with Rukia, looking at her with deep concern. 'Are you okay Rukia? He didn't… did he…'

'No, no you saw the most of it,' Rukia answered, she looked timidly up at her brother. 'are you alright Ichigo? He hurt you—'

'Don't!' he snapped, though he appeared to regret his harshness when he saw the scared look on Rukia's face. 'I'm sorry it's just… I hate that man Rukia. The next time we meet, I am going to kill him.' Rukia swore it was as though his eyes were glowing from the hostility he felt towards Gin.

'Ichigo he didn't… I'm not worth this anger,' Rukia told him. She could not stand it when Ichigo got so worked up, and lately it was happening so much.

'You _are_ Rukia, you are worth everything,' Ichigo said with a soft intensity, 'it is not just about that though...I do not trust him, he is my enemy. I do not care for that Aizen either.'

'Ichigo you only just met Mr. Aizen.'

'To have that maniac for his assistant?' questioned Ichigo, 'surely you are not that blind. I would not trust either of them.'

'You're just angry,' Rukia insisted, 'why did you not tell father what Gin did to you?'

'It is not his fight, or concern Rukia. Gin seems crafty and manipulative. Just keep your distance,' Ichigo warned. His defenses then gradually seemed to relax as he offered his arm to Rukia. 'Come on, let me escort you out.'

Rukia smiled linking her arm with his. She felt very uncertain and shaken from Gin, she was desperately hoping she would not be running into him again this evening. But with her father's evident suspicious and Ichigo's ever so watchful eye she knew she was safe for tonight. Gin would not be so foolish as to approach her again this evening. _Such a disgusting, snake of a man…_


	11. A Happy Christmas

11

The grand ballroom was full of people who were gathering to hear the Zaraki family welcoming speech. Rukia felt incredibly shaken and was holding onto Ichigo's arm tighter than she thought. He put his other hand on hers gently and stopped.

'Hey, he's never coming near you again, understand?' Ichigo asked her in a rather stern tone.

Rukia nodded, her eyes scanning the room, desperately trying to seek Gin Ichimaru out. 'I feel like he is watching me…'

'Well I am watching you, and so is father and Renji. None of us will let anyone harm you. I promise you the next time I meet him I will spill all of his blood.' That heinous glow to Ichigo's eyes lit up again and Rukia felt very intimidated by the presence of her brother. Gin sparked something in him that brought out the hidden wickedness in Ichigo. When angered, her brother was terribly frightened and though she had never seen him this way, she knew he would not hesitate to fight especially for her.

'Ichigo, please don't say things like that…' she pleaded quietly, 'let's just… try and enjoy the night.'

'We will Rukia,' Ichigo said in a slightly more upbeat voice. 'I just don't want you to worry okay? Trust me, I will protect you until my last breath.' She smiled up at him and gave Ichigo a hug and he slowly returned her embrace. Rukia felt scared when she thought of Ichigo lately, so much had changed between them, they did not interact in the same way and she had a strong feeling deep down things would never be as they were.

&&&&&

When they parted, their attentions were stolen by Rangiku who was running over with Shuuhei's hand in hers. Ichigo left Rukia in the company of Rangiku and left with Shuuhei to go join Isshin and Sosuke Aizen for a smoke. All of a sudden, Rukia eyed Gin from across the busy room, who smiled what would have been a friendly grin to an outsider, but Rukia saw the devil in his grin and taunting wave. Rukia's focus gave away her uncomfortable disposition, she could not move for his shadow stole her air, made every reaction in her body stop yet run a mile a minute at the same time.

'Rukia,' Rangiku asked touching her shoulder, 'are you all right? You look as though you've seen a ghost.'

'I'm fine Rangiku,' Rukia responded, her answer met with a look of skepticism from her good friend, 'really, I'm quite all right.'

Rangiku looked across the room and saw Gin Ichimaru staring back at them. 'I know him, that is Gin Ichimaru, he is a close family friend.' Rangiku waved back at him, finally Gin turned and looked away.

Rukia's eyes widened in disbelief, 'I have never met him before until this night.'

'Well he does work for the government so he is mostly based in London,' Rangiku noted, 'he usually comes to visit when my father is home from work.' Rangiku's father was also a minister in the government and worked in London and was always away.

Rukia then noticed that she had not seen the Matsumoto family that night. 'Where are your parents by the way?'

Rangiku stiffened at his and her voice went quiet, 'they were not able to come.'

'Oh? Where else would they be Christmas Eve if not with you?'

'With their family,' Rangiku answered, her tone rather bitter. What did she mean by 'their' family… it was her family too… Rukia realized Rangiku may have had a row with her parents and decided to quickly change the topic of conversation.

'What do you make of Gin Ichimaru's character?'

Rangiku shrugged, 'he is a little off sometimes I guess, but he has always been most kind with me. He says I am like the daughter he never had.'

'Right,' Rukia replied, not wanting to discuss him further. It was bad enough feel as though she were being suffocated when he was near her. Rangiku clearly harboured respect and kind thoughts towards Mr. Ichimaru, and Rukia was not interested in sharing her personal experience with him to Rangiku. 'How is Shuuhei doing? You two looked happy as always.'

Rangiku smirked, 'he is very well, and uh, he says that you and Renji are as _hot_ as ever.'

'Oh god he told you?'

'Of course, honestly Rukia you need to learn some self control,' scolded Rangiku playfully.

Rukia nudged her and scoffed at the insult, 'right need we get into your past misdeeds Miss. Matsumoto.'

'You wouldn't dare,' challenged Rangiku.

&&&&&

The girls went back and forth with their playful bantering until a clanging on a glass was heard. General Kenpachi Zaraki was now standing on a landing, his wife at his side along with Yachiru. Shuuhei, Renji, and Yumichka were nearby though not directly on the landing. Renji smiled and winked at Rukia from where he was standing. She smiled in response and turned her head to focus on General Zaraki.

'Welcome family and friends to our home on this wonderful night of Christmas Eve,' Zaraki began, his brief introduction earning a strong round of applause from the crowd. Zaraki chucked, 'well it's not hard to impress you people I see. Thank you all very much for coming I hope you drink me out of libations and indulge on the food my wife has spent weeks planning and arranging. Oh, and for the kids… we have a special guest! Father Christmas!' Zaraki motioned to his left but nothing appeared. 'Father Christmas? Dammit boy get the hell out here.'

'No! I'm not coming out like this!' Rukia recognized that voice as Ikkaku.

'Boy don't make me come back there,' threatened Zaraki.

'Yeah come on out baldy-Claus!' Yachiru encouraged.

'Dad! She's calling me that name again!' Ikkaku whined.

Zaraki rolled his eyes, 'I really question how you boys turned out sometimes.'

'Hey, Renji and I turned out all right. Ikkaku is not always so impossible, your two daughters are as stunning as ever,' Shuuhei teased, knowing he would piss Yumichka off.

'Pardon me dear Shuuhei, how dare you insult my masculinity!' Yumichka fought back.

'You do not need me for that Yumichka, you do that entirely on your own,' Shuuhei commented smirking.

'I did not realize it was treason against my gender to enjoy a lustrous shine to my hair or a flawless complexion! Brutes! You are all just not sophisticated enough to appreciate, aspire to, or attain true beauty!' with that Yumichka began to storm off.

'Oh goodness, he has always been rather sensitive,' Lady Zaraki sighed staring at the direction in which Ikkaku was hiding. 'Ikkaku honey just come out in your suit, the children would love to see Santa!'

'No! I never consented to this!' Ikkaku protested.

'Well, you are wearing the costume are you not?' inquired Lady Zaraki.

'You guys tackled me down and forced me in it!' Ikkaku yelled in defense.

'Baldy! Come out! Please! I want to see Cue-ball Claus!' Yachiru begged.

'Mum tell dad she did it again! Tell her to stop!' Ikkaku demanded whining.

'That is quite enough!' bellowed Zaraki. He stormed off the landing, disappearing from site for a few moments only to return dragging Ikkaku in by the ear.

The whole room erupted in laughter at the site. Ikkaku was dressed in the traditional Father Christmas outfit and had been stuffed by pillows. A fake, white beard was stuck on his face and the most ridiculous hat Rukia swore she had ever seen. Ikkaku clearly looked displeased at this.

'I hate my life,' Ikkaku said angrily.

Suddenly, Yachiru (somehow?) was in the air, grabbed Ikkaku's hat revealing his baldhead, and landed near her scooter and began to run off with the hat. She was giggling mischievously at her deed.

'Oi! You! Yachiru get back here!' barked Ikkaku who began to foolishly chase after her, only to be followed by a swarm of little kids wanted to play with Santa.

General Zaraki shook his head sighing at his children's juvenile behavior. 'Well everyone, that is my eldest son… bloody hell. Anyways, enjoy yourselves! Dinner will be served shortly in the dining hall!'

&&&&&

The rest of the party had been, most definitely the best time that Rukia had ever had in the same company as her parents. Everyone was in the best of spirits, which Rukia came to learn had been pretty much had been a surprise to everyone. Dinner had been simply amazing; the Zaraki's had the best cooks. It had been buffet style and there were countless options, and many international dishes that Rukia found quite a delight to try.

Rukia was laughing at her parents dancing together; her father, successfully this year, had managed to get her mother a little intoxicated. Karin and Yuzu were running about with Yachiru and some of the other children. Yachiru had a huge toy room with tons of different things to occupy all of the kids. Karin and Yuzu managed to steal Rukia away and were showing her everything in the playroom.

'Look Rukia, do you see all of the dolls?' Karin asked pointing at the entire wall filled with shelves and shelves of gorgeous china dolls.

'And the tea set! Look Rukia!' Yuzu said excitedly. Rukia couldn't believe it, the gorgeous pink and white tea set was displayed on a cute little table that Ikkaku had carved and made for his little sister Yachiru.

'This is incredible, even the toys are fancy,' Rukia said, mostly to herself.

'Excuse me ladies,' a male's voice called from behind. Turning around, they saw it belonged to Renji who was smiling romantically at Rukia.

'What do you want?' Karin asked glaring at him.

'Pardon me Karin, and Yuzu but I was wondering if you would allow me to borrow your sister for a little bit this evening,' Renji asked, humouring the girls.

Yuzu giggled, 'of course Renji!'

Karin on the other hand was not so open to this idea, 'you had her all dinner.'

'Karin!' Rukia scolded.

Renji was not put down by this and decided to reason with Karin. 'Karin, do you know how to play tennis?'

'No, I wanted to but mummy won't allow daddy to play or teach us because he broke his nose and arm and was bed-ridden for weeks one time after playing a match,' Karin answered. No one in the Kurosaki family really understood how Isshin had managed to brutalize his body in a mere tennis match—then again, no one really wanted to know.

'Well, what do you say I teach you how if you let me borrow your sister for the night until you all head home?'

Karin considered this carefully, 'promise you won't be awful? Because if you are I have no qualms with beating your ass.'

'You are a lot like Ichigo eh?' Renji pointed out. 'It is a deal sound good?'

'Deal,' Karin agreed. The two exchanged a high five and Renji took Rukia's arm in his and they left the girls and the rest of the kids to the wonderments of the endless toys in the playroom.

%%%%%

'You were great talking with Karin,' Rukia said to Renji, 'she is quite a lot like Ichigo, they are both so forward, short-tempered and so bloody stubborn.'

'I think stubbornness runs in the _whole _Kurosaki family Rukia,' teased Renji, recalling when they first met how hotheaded Rukia had been.

'It does not,' Rukia objected, 'I am much more reasonable, and calm. '

'Right… you're not stubborn at all…'

'Renji Zaraki I—' He kissed her to silence her, taking hold of one hand and wrapping his arm around her waist, leading her out to the dance floor.

'You can't always kiss me to shut me up you know, it won't always work,' Rukia said, her hand squeezed his shoulder a little.

'Always putting up a fight,' Renji laughed and kissed her again. He then leaned closer to whisper in her ear, 'I have something to show you later.'

'Oh? What's that?'

'Well I can't tell you, it's your Christmas gift,' Renji said, spinning her around then recapturing her in his arms.

'You fool, you didn't have to get me anything.'

'Please, you women always say that and I don't know why. It's complete bullshit.'

Rukia laughed and kicked his shin lightly, well lightly for her. 'It's true you pompous git. I am really happy just spending time with you. Falling in love with you is the best gift there ever was or will be…' She blushed slightly at this, causing her voice to fade.

'It's incredible how in love with you I am,' Renji told her, his voice sultry and his eyes looking into hers with soft, sensuality. 'I don't know what I did to deserve you, you're far too good for me.'

'I know,' Rukia said making sure not to laugh and sound as serious as she could.

'Oh yea?' Renji taunted. He then picked her up and carried her out of the ballroom down the hallway.

'Renji! Renji what are you doing! Put me down!' He wasn't listening, instead quickened his pace. He took her into a small room, shutting the door behind him, and nudged open the door to the balcony with his foot. Realizing he meant to toss her off of it Rukia shrieked. 'Renji! You maniac!' Rukia managed to kick him, causing him to loosen his grip. They play fought around the room and ended up laughing in one another's arms.

Rukia was sitting on a desk with Renji standing in between her legs. 'Were you actually going to toss me?' she questioned suspiciously.

'No, well, not tonight anyway,' he replied cheekily. 'maybe I just wanted to get us alone.'

They were leaning in for another kiss when Rukia felt something land in between her breasts. 'What?' she asked aloud. Looking down, she saw it was the necklace from her brother, 'oh this silly thing, always falls off.'

'Here let me get that,' Renji offered slyly. Rukia smiled and rolled her eyes, knowing full well he just wanted to reach down her dress… He slowly moved his hand down, gently touching her skin as he roamed his fingers across her chest…

When his touches reached her breasts, Rukia flinched from his cold hands. 'Renji… ah…' she moaned softly.

He snickered and began kissing her neck, moving up to her ear, biting it playfully, 'I love when you moan…'

A strange creaking noise unexpectedly broke the silence of the room. Renji and Rukia looked at one another, 'did you hear that Renji?' Rukia asked, resuming to look around the room. Renji's eyes were focused on the door. It was still closed but something seemed rather off to him. 'Do you think someone came in?' Rukia questioned, noticing his intense stare.

'Perhaps… I don't know why though, this is Ikkaku's private office… we're so far down the hall…'

Rukia gently stroked Renji's cheek encouraging him to look back at her. 'I'm sure it is just the house.'

'Maybe… whatever, they didn't come in and they're not going to.' He moved away and locked the door. As he was coming back he took a look at Rukia's necklace. It was a small white rabbit with tiny diamonds for eyes. It looked rather juvenile to be honest. 'Aren't you getting a little old for stuff like this?'

Rukia frowned. 'Not even close, Ichigo gave it to me last year for graduation.'

'Seriously? Blimey, your brother's tastes in jewelry are questionable.'

'What's wrong with it?'

'It's a rabbit…?

'Well what's wrong with rabbits?' she asked sharply.

'Nothing Rukia, calm down. It's just not what I would get you.' Renji had that look most men seemed to get when they realized what they just said most definitely annoyed their significant others.

'You know Renji,' began Rukia coolly, 'sometimes I think when you open your mouth it's only to change whichever foot occupied it previously.' With that she snatched the necklace from his hands.

'I'm sorry?' he said, hardly trying to sound sincere, 'is there some reason to why it's a, well, a bunny rabbit?'

'Yes, but as if I am going to tell you now.'

'What? Why not? Just tell me.'

'No, you don't care and you'll just laugh, after all it's a "stupid rabbit"'

'Hey, I never said it was stupid,' Renji said, defending himself. Rukia merely crossed her arms and avoided his gaze. Renji decided to give in and apologize, leaning to kiss her temple, and along the side of her face, 'look I'm sorry, it's a beautiful rabbit. Absolutely stunning really, it's a magnificent bunny. Ichigo has a brilliant eye.'

Rukia wanted so badly to hold in her laughter but it was slowly escaping her lips. 'You're such an ass Renji.'

'Yet you love me anyway,' he smirked, capturing her lips again, 'now please tell me the story of this most fascinating bunny necklace.'

'Well, when I was small—'

'You're still small.'

'Renji!'

'Okay, sorry I'll shut it.'

Rukia exhaled, releasing her urge to smack Renji across the head. 'When I was… a child… I had this stuffed white bunny that I named Chappy. I took it everywhere with me. Ichigo, when he was small, followed me everywhere. He's always disliked the rain and thunderstorms so one night, I gave him Chappy so he wouldn't be scared and so he's have something there when I couldn't be with him. Then one day when I was I think turning fourteen, I got a terrible bout of pneumonia. I was really sick, no one was supposed to be near me for fear of catching it. But Ichigo would stay with me and keep me company. I got worse though, there was one night were everyone thought I would die. Ichigo brought Chappy to me and I remember holding it the whole night.'

Renji smiled softly, holding Rukia close in his arms, 'he's a good brother hey?'

'The best,' Rukia answered, 'after that though I got better completely, but my parents insisted on burning the sheets and Chappy so as not to spread the sickness. I was sad I mean, I loved that stupid bunny. So when I graduated from secondary school, Ichigo gave me this.'

Rukia's hands opened, revealing the necklace. Renji took it from her and put it back around her neck again. 'I guess there is more to Ichigo than just a psychotic older brother.'

'You would be the same I guess when Yachiru is old enough to date.'

'She will never date, or grow up. I forbid it.'

'Right cause—'

A knocking followed by the shaking of the door handle startled them both. 'Who's there?' demanded Renji in an authoritative tone. No one answered, not verbally anyway. Three knocks echoed again loudly on the door. 'Bloody hell,' muttered Renji as he got up to answer it. When the door opened, Rukia nearly died of fright as she saw the sinister face of Gin Ichimaru.

'Oh Mr. Ichimaru,' Renji greeted, 'what brings you over to this part of the house?'

'Hello young Renji, I was just taking a stroll, your father said I could find some excellent reading material on _current events_ shall we say down this way?' Gin smiled and waved at Rukia. She wanted to look away but was fearful not to keep a close eye on him.

Renji eyed Gin suspiciously, 'my father sent you alone?'

'Perhaps, if you do not mind I could ask you some questions out here?' Gin offered. Rukia swear she saw him wink at her.

'Don't!' she exclaimed.

Renji looked at her puzzlingly, 'you all right Rukia?'

'No…' she said softly. Maybe it was the adrenaline causing her senses to be extra sensitive, but she swore she saw a beam of light shining off that knife Gin had pulled on Ichigo earlier.

'Rukia, have you gone around the bend or something?' Renji motioned to Gin to wait outside and went over to comfort Rukia, 'are you feeling okay?'

'Don't go out there,' Rukia whispered.

'What? Rukia I will be like a minute, tops, just wait a—'

'No Renji, please don't—'

'Look, I don't know what this is about but it needs to stop. Wait here.' Renji seemed annoyed and left wondering what the hell had gotten into his girlfriend.

Rukia felt more on edge than ever before as she sat listening intently. Maybe she was overreacting, Gin surely would not be so foolish as to kill Renji… and Renji would not be tricked into leaving her alone… would he? She felt warm, naucious even, her chest tight. She decided to distract herself a bit to calm down and regain some composure just so Renji wouldn't think she was completely insane. Looking on the desk she saw a few papers, news article clippings, nothing of interest. Suddenly though, something caught her eye…

Rukia only got to see a few words before the door swung open and Renji was storming towards her. He snatched the papers from her hand looking at her angrily. 'What did you see?' he demanded.

'Nothing.'

'Don't lie to me Rukia, what did you read?'

What had gotten into him? 'Honestly not much just…'

'Rukia those papers are not for your eyes.'

'I'm sorry,' she said quietly. The words she saw were troubling, so much so that it seemed unreal, as though it were a work of fiction. 'Is it… is it true?'

Renji looked at her, reluctance in his eyes. He nodded quietly, clearly not wishing to discuss this further, but he knew Rukia deserved a better answer than that. 'Yes, the Nazi Party is showing strong signs of potential aggression. My knowledge is limited, my father would know more but… well there's no need for you to worry yourself over this.' He had chosen his words carefully, Rukia knew that, and she also knew that he was hiding many things from her.

'Ichigo is thinking of joining the army,' she said. 'I know there's much talk of a war, and I can't bare to think it… do you think…'

'Rukia please,' Renji said, raising his voice slightly.

She acknowledged that he was done discussing this matter and dropped it. 'Is Mr. Ichimaru gone?'

'Yes, he was making his leave. Did, did something happen you seemed incredibly on edge when he came…'

'He just, he scares me,' Rukia answered honestly, 'I feel like he's a serpent and he's just slithering over me, poisoning me…'

'He is a little eccentric; I personally don't care for him much. Pretty sure he's harmless though.'

Rukia nodded, her thoughts wrapped around those words she saw on the paper: Threat… Nazi Party… defense… warfare… What was coming in the following years? What if Germany were to… no she couldn't fathom the idea, it couldn't happen, it wasn't possible. That would mean… she would lose everyone… Renji's hand came up to brush her tears away and pull her into his arms.

'I promised you I wasn't going anywhere,' he said sweetly to her, 'I love you Rukia, I will do everything possible to keep you safe, and keep your happiness.'

'You are my happiness,' she responded, clinging to him tightly, 'I don't want to ever let you go.'

'You won't ever have to,' he said, dreading the thought of ever having to let go of the love of his life who was in his arms now.

They stayed there in each other's arms for a while, until Renji suggested they go back out and get back in the Christmas spirit. Relieved to see that Gin Ichimaru had left, Rukia let herself push those haunting words from her mind and enjoy the rest of the party. Looking around the room at the smiling, laughing faces of her family and friends Rukia found both comfort and a deep sadness. She wondered if she wished really hard if time would freeze, right now, this very moment, where everyone was happy… the tolling of the clock however at every hour reminded her otherwise, reminded her that was she just an insignificant life and that no matter what happened, time would continue, day would become night… all Rukia could do was move helplessly forward…


	12. New Year, Old Problems

*i do not own bleach*

12

It was nearing the end of spring and final examinations would soon be commencing. Rukia sat at her desk studying, well trying to anyway, and occasionally glancing up at her Christmas gift. It had not been what she thought it would be at all; he had made her a mini photo album with little drawings and photos of them together from when they first met to now. There were more blank pages that were to be filled of new memories of their future together. Renji seemed to be the only thing in her life that was a joy. School was growing increasingly stressful by the day; Rangiku had been reclusive these days always with her bedroom door shut and hardly saying a word, and Ichigo… goodness, that was just a nightmare. He was so temperamental, so impossible to be around. He refrained from talking making their traditional Sunday evening dinners tense and awkward. He wouldn't talk to Rukia except for the occasional, useless small talk about the weather or exams. Rukia knew why, but it was a ridiculous reason.

_Flashback…_

_Shortly after New Years, which the Kurosaki family spent with the Zaraki family, everything seemed normal. Surprisingly, Ichigo and Renji were civil with each other. One afternoon, Ichigo had finished training with Zangetsu, his fencing instructor, and Renji, who fenced as well, had challenged him to a friendly duel. Rukia did not witness the start or duration of the fight but knew very well how it concluded. Both young men were cut rather badly (having chosen naturally to duel with real swords and wearing no protection), and out of breath from yelling at one another. Rukia remembered hearing such commotion and running down the stairs only to have Ichigo angrily walk up to her. _

'_Is this honestly what you want Rukia?' Ichigo had asked pointing in Renji's direction, 'this is the man you trust your heart to?'_

'_Ichigo what in god's name are you talking about?' she responded. _

'_Answer my question Rukia,' Ichigo retorted ignoring her question. His stare on her was intense, causing her to tremble slightly. _

'_Ichigo,' she said, forcing the words to escape her lips, 'Ichigo I love Renji but—'_

'_He'll be the biggest mistake of your life,' Ichigo said coldly before storming off, nearly knocking her over. _

_Rukia couldn't help the tears that were building up in her eyes. Why had Ichigo been so upset? She turned to face Renji who looked equally displeased with whatever had happened, 'Renji… what… why is he being like that?'_

_Renji shook his head, 'I am sorry Rukia. We just don't get along… it's impossible, he's impossible.'_

'_You're both ridiculous,' Rukia said shaking her head. 'You're both so similar I just can't understand this.' _

'_I'm sorry, I honestly didn't mean to upset you,' Renji said walking towards her. _

_Rukia let him hold her but couldn't bring herself to move, 'I don't want you two to be like this forever… What even happened?'_

_Renji tensed and moved from her gaze. 'Nothing important.'_

'_It wasn't nothing!' she yelled, 'damn it Renji tell me!'_

'_It is between Ichigo and myself Rukia, please do not get involved,' Renji responded. _

'_I am between you and Ichigo. You are my boyfriend and he is my brother!' _

_Renji sighed, rubbing the back of his head, 'Rukia I do not want to bring you into this all right? Ichigo and I had an argument and now it's done. Can we just let it go? Please? I promise this will be the last time. I promise you this.' He took hold of her hands in his and looked intensely into her eyes. _

_Rukia was not satisfied with this answer at all. But she knew Renji and Ichigo were both stubborn, and pressing the matter further would not end desirably for anyone. 'Fine. I will not ask you again.' _

Renji and Rukia had slowly made up since then, but no progress had been made with Ichigo. It was as though he had divorced Rukia from his life and they were merely two people under the same roof when she was home. The familial connection that held them together was lost. As far as Rukia was concerned she did not have a brother. Ichigo's mood swings were all too common now, and did not surprise Rukia anymore. This was just how their relationship was going to be from now on she guessed. Lately, Ichigo had been working an internship under the guidance of Sosuke Aizen, thanks to connections from their father, that had seemed to lighten his mood. It was something for him to do and occupy his thoughts. _Anything to keep him quiet and at a distance…_ Rukia had written in her diary, _Ichigo… why did things have to change for us?_

It was a week before exams and Rukia found herself dying of anxiety. Her father had dragged her to some brunch with some of his work colleagues and family friends. Rukia would've been more than delighted to skip this engagement but her mother would not tolerate her absence, insisting Rukia had much more time to study. Perhaps it was not so much the exams as the boring conversations Rukia knew waited for her. Rukia saw Captain Zaraki and Ikkaku, but Lady Zaraki and the rest of the family were absent, including Renji. Rukia, Yuzu and Karin were unquestionable the youngest there. Ichigo was working this day but Aizen was there to make an appearance. Gin Ichimaru thankfully was not present at the event.

'How long is this going to be?' Karin asked rather dismally.

Rukia shrugged, 'I have no idea. But I'm sure it's going to feel like forever regardless of how long it actually is.'

'Oh you two,' Yuzu said in a mock scolding manner, 'just look lively! This is for father, he'll want us to try and look upbeat. He has been rather down lately.'

It was true, Isshin Kurosaki looked as though he hadn't slept in ages. His stress over his son and whatever affairs with work he was dealing with was beginning to show through. Masaki looked concerned for her husband and had been rather quiet herself lately. Rukia found it hard sometimes to be home, but did so to be with Yuzu and Karin.

'You're right Yuzu, at least we're getting free food out of coming,' Rukia pointed out.

Karin smiled happily, 'I do love free food, let's go have some sandwiches or something.'

The girls walked over to a table with finger sandwiches and other mini appetizers. A taller, slender ginger-haired woman with a taller dark-haired man wearing spectacles at her side came over. 'Oh so this is where all of the good stuff is,' she said softly.

'Yes!' Yuzu replied in a friendly tone, 'you must try these cucumber sandwiches, they're amazing!'

The lady picked one up and bit into it slowly. 'Oh I love them, but to make it even better I would add mustard, caviar, and chocolate!' the woman chimed.

Karin's face was a mixture of confusion and disgust. Rukia nudged her and began to introduce herself, 'that sounds very unique… I'm Rukia Kurosaki by the way.'

'Kurosaki? Oh! You must be Ichigo's sisters! I am Orihime Inoue and this is Uryuu Ishida,' Orihime said introducing the man next to her.

'It is a pleasure to meet you Rukia,' Uryuu said.

'Yes, Ichigo is our brother. These are our sisters Karin and Yuzu. Sorry, how do you know Ichigo?' Rukia asked.

'Oh I am one of Mr. Aizen's secretaries. I work with Ichigo at the office. Uryuu is also doing the internship with Ichigo. Your brother is very intelligent Rukia,' Orihime was smiling and her overfriendly tone wasn't sitting well with Rukia.

'Intelligent? No, no, you must have Ichigo confused with someone else,' Karin said.

'Karin!' Rukia scolded quietly. Karin merely snickered and walked off.

'Oh she is the sweetest!' Orihime said laughing at Karin's remark.

'That's one word for it…' Rukia said aloud, mostly to herself.

'I adore working with your brother Rukia,' Orihime commented, catching Rukia slightly off guard, 'I did not realize he was so young. He is so mature for his age and works so hard.' Rukia nodded slowly. _This woman can't be sweet on Ichigo can she? _She had to laugh a bit, as Orihime's overly joyous personality would unquestionably contrast strongly with the harsher nature of Ichigo.

'Rukia Kurosaki,' a man's voice said from behind her. Rukia turned around to see Sosuke Aizen himself standing behind her.

'Mr. Aizen,' Rukia said, sounding half in shock, 'oh, forgive me, it is a pleasure to see you again.'

'The pleasure is all mine I assure you. You look exquisite,' he said smiling charmingly at her. Rukia felt her cheeks reddened and looked away to avoid it being noticed.

'Oh Mr. Aizen, I am so pleased I have now met Ichigo's sister,' Orihime said enthusiastically, 'perhaps we can—'

'Perhaps, Orihime if you do not mind, you could get some punch for Miss Kurosaki and myself?' Aizen requested sounding ever so polite. Orihime looked rather taken back, but nonetheless retreated to go and do as Aizen had asked.

Aizen turned to face Uryuu, 'Uryuu, it is a pleasure to see you here. I do hope you'll join the other gentlemen and myself on the balcony for a cigar in about ten minutes I would say?'

Uryuu did not seem entirely pleased that Aizen had just ordered Orihime to retrieve refreshments, but knew better than to speak out against Aizen. 'Absolutely Mr. Aizen, I will see you then,' he replied dismissing himself.

Rukia couldn't help but feel slightly awkward at the interactions that had just taken place. Yuzu was holding her hand now, clearly intimidated by Aizen's prescence. He must've noticed as soon he was bending down to greet Yuzu. 'Forgive me, it is Yuzu correct?'

'Yes, Mr. Aizen,' Yuzu replied timidly.

'You are just as pretty as your elder sister. Where is your twin… Karin, it is correct?'

'Yes,' Yuzu said quickly, 'I am, I am not sure. Perhaps we should go look for her Rukia?' Yuzu clearly did not want to leave Rukia alone with Mr. Aizen.

Rukia knew she could not very well walk out on Mr. Aizen, 'Yuzu darling how about you find Karin and I will come find you when Mr. Aizen goes outside?' Yuzu nodded and left to find her twin.

'I apologize if I come off a bit too forward and intimidating. It is the nature of my work, I am an authority figure and sometimes I forget at such social engagements such as this I can relax,' Aizen said.

Orihime arrived with the drinks and Aizen took the glasses and gave one to Rukia. 'It was nice meeting you Rukia. I do hope we will see one another soon.' With that she left.

'She's a nice girl,' Aizen remarked pleasantly, 'she's quite fond of your brother Ichigo I do believe.'

Rukia felt herself make a face, displeased with Aizen's comment. 'Well I am quite certain my brother has his mind focused on the internship and schoolwork, not romance at the moment.'

Aizen laughed at her comment. 'Ichigo is working very hard. Uryuu and him have a friendly rivalry going on. However, I am sure Ichigo must tell you all about it. I am very pleased to have him working for me.'

An emptiness like no other filled Rukia's heart. _I wish Ichigo told me…_ Deep down, she blamed herself for the distance between them. It was so easier to work conflicts out with Renji; she could talk to him, reason with him. Ichigo not so much; he would rarely apologize or pause to consider her side. But then again, had she given much thought to his point of view? As far as she knew, Ichigo's point of view was straightforward, he hated Renji, he was jealous of Rukia's closeness with another male. She thought of some of the tense, more awkward moments that had occurred between them; there were moments where Ichigo's gaze on her had not been that of a brother to his sister.

'Rukia, Miss Kuchiki?' Aizen's voice broke her thoughts.

'Sorry, sorry I apologize,' Rukia scrambled to escape her troubling thoughts.

'Is everything all right… with Ichigo I mean? You got quiet when I mentioned him, I am so sorry if I have done any to offend you…'

'No, absolutely not Mr. Aizen,' Rukia apologized, 'I am just very stressed from exams. My thoughts are just a little preoccupied right now.'

'I understand my dear, but please do excuse me. I will be sure to see you again before I depart,' Aizen said, kissing the back of her hand before he departed.

'Such a charmer Sosuke is, always has been,' Masaki Kurosaki said as she approached Rukia from behind.

'You can say that again,' Rukia replied, agreeing with her mother. He was very nice, soft spoken. Ichigo was fortunate to have someone like Aizen to look up to and work for.

'Are you well Rukia?' Masaki asked her daughter affectionately.

Rukia shrugged, 'I will be. I'll be okay.'

Rukia couldn't have been more thankful to be heading home from the brunch. The afternoon had been bearable but it was nice to know she could hide in her room for the rest of the night and study. She managed to study well into the night, after everyone had gone to sleep. She heard footsteps in the hallway followed by the slamming of the door down the hall. _Ichigo._ Rukia went with her impulse and got up from her desk and headed down the hall. She knocked quietly on his door. Nothing. She was going to turn and head back to her room when the door surprisingly opened. Rukia grabbed the door handle and pushed, opening the door. She had butterflies in her stomach; unsure of the mood her brother might be in.

'You can shut it behind you, so as not to wake anyone,' Ichigo said with his back facing her. He was at his desk, scribbling away at some paperwork.

'How was work today?' Rukia asked once she had shut the door.

'It was good. How was the brunch?' he asked in response.

Rukia sighed at the dull conversation, 'it was nice, though a tad dull. I saw Mr. Aizen, and met Orihime and Uryuu.'

'Oh?' Ichigo asked, 'that's good.'

'Orihime seems to fancy you,' Rukia teased. She could tell Ichigo was smirking by the tone in his reply.

'Yeah, tell me about it. It's ridiculous really. I feel bad because Uryuu likes her a lot,' Ichigo said. He put his pen aside and turned to face Rukia. 'I'm really happy Rukia this internship is amazing. Mr. Aizen is absolutely brilliant, I feel foolish for misjudging him before.'

Rukia couldn't hide her shock at her brother's warming openness. 'That's wonderful Ichigo, I'm so glad.'

'Are you doing good?' he asked her.

Rukia nodded, 'yes, I am. Just have exams soon. I've just been studying.' She paused, looking deep into her brother's amber eyes. He looked different, as though he had grown up in the months they'd hardly spoken. She hated how they spoke like strangers now. IT was her fault. She chose Renji over him, time and time again. It had to be her fault why things were different. 'Ichigo… I'm sorry,' she suddenly burst out. She was able to keep the tears back but she knew her face was giving away her stress.

'For what?' Ichigo asked.

'Everything, Renji… us… Ichigo… I'm sorry but I can't… I don't know what to do! I want to make things right but I just feel as though you hate me and there's nothing I can do!' Rukia didn't mean to raise her voice but the frustrations were built up and consuming her.

Ichigo stood up and leaned back on his desk, looking away from her. 'I don't hate you Rukia. I think that's the whole problem, I—I am impossibly… I am impossible to deal with. I'm not mad at you.'

'Ichigo I don't want this to keep happening, I don't want us to get along then drift apart. It's ridiculous, and it's not fair to make me choose between you and Renji. He's good to me.'

'Rukia I don't want to talk about Renji okay?' Ichigo said getting up and walking towards her. 'He… he isn't a big part of the picture okay. I'm sorry, just… give me some space okay? Just give me time.'

'How much more space do you need from me? I'm your sister! We used to tell each other everything… I—'

'Yes, Rukia, you're my sister. You are my _damn_ sister,' Ichigo said firmly but quietly, 'look I think you should go, we can talk tomorrow—'

'Stop pushing me away Ichigo,' pleaded Rukia, 'please let's fix this, let's talk about… about whatever is going on.'

Ichigo was looking at her with some mixed expression of anger and sadness. 'What would you like to hear from me Rukia?'

'The truth?' she asked somewhat in disbelief. _Why is he being so damn difficult? _

He stayed silent, as though he were playing in his head what he wanted to say and how Rukia may react to it. 'I… I just don't want you to get your heart broken. I don't want you to get hurt. When I was the only man in your life I could control that. I can't control what Renji might do.'

Rukia looked puzzled, 'Ichigo… what…'

Suddenly he took her in his arms and held her close to him. She didn't realize how tight she was grasping him until Ichigo broke away to kiss her cheek. He kissed her right near the edge of her lips and it sent a spark through Rukia; she could feel the intensity of all his emotions shocking through her. When they broke apart neither could look one another in the eye. It all made sense to Rukia now, why Ichigo was angry, jealous and avoided her.

'You should go…' he said quietly.

Rukia nodded and slowly walked away. Before leaving she said one last thing, 'it's okay Ichigo… I understand now… goodnight.' She closed the door and headed back to her room.

_Diary, _

_I feel so stupid for failing to understand… but now that I do it does not seem much help, as I have no idea how to fix the situation. He says he needs time, he needs space… but is that helping or prolonging the problem? It makes perfect sense to me, yet I fail to understand how it began… I don't know what to do. I just don't know…_

_*author's note*_

hey yall.. so can i win for epic fail on updating? lol life has been nuts! i went travelling around the world for the summer now i am back and won't be taking forever! sorry for the slow chapter but things will majorly pick up and get moving soon. any suggests/critiques please message and review! i'm a little rusty lol. thank you for taking time to read & review!


	13. May it be

I don't own bleach.

13

The summer sun once again glowed over England, though the atmosphere throughout the country was anxiety ridden with news of Germany's growing aggression. It was easy though, for Rukia anyway, to ignore the omnipresent rumors— especially with Ichigo's birthday to plan. Things between them were better, much more improved, but there were awkward moments now especially when they were alone together. Rukia would catch sight of Ichigo's eyes gazing over her. She would feel self-conscious, exposed… her blushing only made it worse. Obviously neither Rukia nor Ichigo would ever consider or act on any… feelings that arose. But were they feelings? No, Rukia dismissed this notion; it was merely confusion, adolescent confusion. It was Ichigo having issues letting go of his sister. He had to let her go. She loved Renji. This was all just a frustrating part of growing up. They still had moments where they would argue, but thankfully they were becoming less frequent than before.

The Kurosaki family had decided to throw a surprise birthday party for Ichigo. It wasn't just his birthday, Aizen was offering Ichigo a permanent position with him while he attended university. Uryuu had been offered one as well, but declined as he would be attending university in the United States. Ichigo had been working so much, Rukia figured it would be nice for him to have a night off. He had seemed so tired lately; Rukia knew something had to be bothering him. The other day he had come home and was uncomfortably silent…

_Flashback…_

Rukia had been reading in the study on the ground floor when she heard footsteps in the hall. They sounded rather hurried so she went to see if Karin was running in the halls again. Instead she was surprised to find Ichigo rushing by…

'Ichigo? Why are you running in the house?' she asked with a playful authoritative tone.

Ichigo met her eyes for a split second then turned away. 'No. Not now,' was all he responded with and hurried up the stairs. The light had shone on his face for a split second, but that was all Rukia had needed to see the slight bruising near his eye.

She knew better than to follow him and interrogate as to what had occurred. Ichigo wouldn't tell her. _What the hell could have happened? _It was not uncommon for Ichigo to get in fights, especially during his pre-teenaged years. But now? At his age? What would be the need?

…

Uryuu Ishida was helping Rukia with setting up the party. Uryuu had come by often and Rukia had grown fond of him, finding him pleasant to talk to. Renji found Uryuu too 'nerdy' and conservative (although that didn't stop him from getting jealous when Rukia would talk to him). Renji had been busy working for his father Rukia hardly got to see him. He would be coming tonight (Ichigo and him had managed to be in the same room during other various social occasions and remained civil, Rukia was hoping tonight would be a continuation of that trend). Uryuu had been most frequently discussing his love life problems with Rukia; he adored Orihime, but she constantly fought for Ichigo's attention.

'I just… I don't know how to get her to notice me… I guess I am just not good enough…' Uryuu commented, laughing to try and not seem so down on the matter.

Rukia smiled at him, 'Uryuu, are you sure Orihime is worth all this worry? She seems a bit of a flirt, and she is a bit older…'

'I wouldn't call her a flirt, I mean, she's bubbly, and she's very kind. I like her smile. I like… her, everything about her…'

'Quite frankly I do not understand what it is she sees in my brother. Ichigo is so… himself really, there's not really a way to describe him.'

Uryuu scoffed at this, 'how about loud, rude, annoying, dimwitted…'

'Talking about me are we?' Renji asked suddenly appearing behind Rukia, wrapping his arms around her.

'Not this time Renji,' Rukia replied, winking at him. 'This is great you're here actually.'

'Oh yeah?' asked Renji slyly, 'want to take a break and come—'

'Actually, I was thinking more like you and Uryuu could set up the patio furniture on the verandah? It is dreadfully hot and I think it might be nice to enjoy tea outside after dinner.'

Renji frowned, 'I never get what I want. Let's go spectacles!'

Uryuu shook a fist behind Renji, 'it's Uryuu! Gosh I don't understand how many times I have to remind you!'

Rukia followed closely behind them, 'are you two going to be able to handle it yourselves? Or do you need help?'

Renji and Uryuu both froze. 'No!' Renji yelled, 'please Rukia don't get them to help.' _Them _was referring to two attendants of the Kurosaki family that, well, weren't necessarily the sharpest tools in the shed.

'But they have kind hearts and work hard. They adore you and Uryuu so much too,' insisted Rukia.

'It's quite all right Rukia,' Uryuu replied trying to maintain a polite, calm façade despite his internal panic.

'Did you need help?' two voices called out that they all recognize to be that of Pesche and Dondochakka.

'No!' cried out Renji and Uryuu.

'Renji and Uryuu would be delighted if you assisted them, however only if it is not an inconvenience…' Rukia said smiling evilly.

'It's never an inconvenience!' Pesche exclaimed.

'I love Uryuu! I love Renji!' Dondochakka cried out.

'Who is Uryuu?' Pesche asked staring confusedly at Dondochakka.

'I am!' burst Uryuu, 'I am! I am! I am! You've met me countless times!'

'This guy needs to calm down, he's so tense,' Pesche whispered loudly to Dondochakka, 'would you like a massage tense sir?'

'No! Don't touch me, don't—ah!' Uryuu began to run as Pesche started to chase after him.

Rukia rolled her eyes and left them to do their work. Perhaps it was not a good idea to put the four of them together… oh well, Rukia decided, it would be entertaining nonetheless. Pesche and Dondochakka did great work… when they weren't being ridiculous.

Finally at long last everything was set up. Rukia had changed into a beautiful champagne coloured evening dress, wearing of course the bunny necklace from Ichigo. She was excited about what she had got him for his birthday, a nice wristwatch for his new job with his name engraved on the back. She was getting up to head downstairs when a knock on her door followed by Renji's charming smiled entered her room.

'You look breathtaking,' Renji said advancing slowly towards her.

'You clean up pretty good yourself,' Rukia replied. Before she knew it, she was leaning against her vanity, passionately kissing the lips of the handsome man before her. Renji's hands were aggressive on her skin. When she felt his teeth tease her neck she pulled away. 'Renji, we can't right now, they'll be marks… my family will see…'

Renji groaned slightly with frustration. 'Fine,' he said slowly letting her go, 'but tonight you owe me.'

Downstairs, the Kurosaki home was decorated elegantly for Ichigo's birthday. Rukia's mother had baked the cake herself and Yuzu and Karin were holding a sign they had made together. All the Zaraki's were there, Rangiku, Mr. Aizen, Uryuu, a few of Ichigo's high school friends, and some other neighbours. Rukia wondered why Orihime was not in attendance, and Uryuu informed her she had been absent the past few days from work due to illness.

'When is Ichigo due to arrive?' Uryuu asked glancing at his watch.

'He should be here any minute!' Isshin exclaimed, 'I can't wait to scare the boy!'

'No Isshin, darling you promised, no scaring, _surprising_!' Masaki corrected her husband.

'Boy's gotta be tough!' Captain Zaraki said, agreeing with Isshin's approach.

'I wanna scare Ichi!' Yachiru giggled excitedly.

Masaki sighed, 'God give me strength.'

'He did baby,' Isshin said slyly, and began posing making Masaki blush and roll her eyes.

Rangiku laughed next to Rukia, 'your parents are so happy Rukia. You're so lucky…' There was a hint of sadness to her voice.

Rukia rubbed her back gently, 'how are you doing Rangiku?'

She shook her head, 'I will tell you another time. Now… now isn't a good time.'

'I understand,' Rukia replied.

Rangiku nodded and put a smile back on her face, 'so Ichigo should be here soon?'

'Hopefully, unless—'

Suddenly, Pesche and Dondochakka burst into the room. 'He's here! He's here! Ichigo is coming! Lights off!'

'Surprise!' Yachiru yelled.

'Not yet dummy!' snapped Ikkaku.

'Close it cue-ball head!'

'Dad! She's doing it again!' Ikkaku whined.

'God give _me _strength…' Captain Zaraki sighed, rubbing his face in his hands.

'Oh darn! I think my eyelashes are losing their volume,' Yumichka whined as he stared at his face in a handheld mirror. Captain Zaraki chugged the rest of the scotch he had in his glass and took a deep breath.

'Everyone quiet! Take your positions, Ichigo is coming!' Masaki ordered excitedly.

Everyone hid in the entrance way as the lights were dimmed. Rukia couldn't help her smile, she was so excited to be doing this for Ichigo. He wouldn't suspect a thing. He would probably just think it was the same old birthday dinner he had every year… Renji smiled at Rukia in the dim light and kissed her cheek gently.

'I love you,' he whispered, 'you're a great sister. He's lucky to have you.'

'Sometimes,' Rukia replied smiling.

Suddenly, the front door began to open… Ichigo stepped inside, closing the door and…

'SURPRISE!'

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY ICHIGO!'

'TAKE THAT!'

'OW! WHAT THE HELL DAD?'

'BIRTHDAY BUMPS MY BOY!'

'I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR—'

'Ichigo please! Your language!'

'WHAT'S GOING ON?'

'SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!'

The commotion and chaos in the room was unbelievable. Despite the "father-son bonding time" Ichigo was extremely surprised and happy with the party.

'I can't believe you all did this! This is incredible,' Ichigo said smiling.

'It was Rukia's idea!' Yuzu beamed, 'mummy and her organized the whole event!'

Rukia blushed when she saw everyone staring at her. 'It was nothing really.'

'Thanks sis,' Ichigo said smiling warmly. He walked over and gave Rukia a hug. 'This means a lot to me,' he whispered in her ear. He noticed the bunny necklace on her neck, 'still have that old thing hey?'

'Of course,' Rukia replied, 'I'll never take it off.'

Ichigo winked and went to shake Renji's hand, 'I see you helped out too then? Thanks, Renji, I appreciate it.'

'She forced me to,' Renji joked, 'happy birthday you cranky bastard.' The two men hugged and Rukia felt a sense of peace had finally formed between them.

'Let's move into the dining room everyone! There is tons of food!' Masaki announced.

Once everyone had their food and was seated, Mr. Aizen stood up to make his announcement. 'Before we commence on this fine feast, I would like to make a brief toast. Ichigo Kurosaki is a brilliant young man, that I was fortunate enough to have as an intern. I would like to take this opportunity to announce that, if he chooses, while he attends Oxford University, he may continue to work for me… however, with a raise and higher status.'

Ichigo's eyes widened in disbelief, 'sir, Mr. Aizen, are you… are you…'

'Serious? Absolutely. Ichigo it would be an honour for you to continue your employment with me.'

'Very well, I accept. Thank you so much Mr. Aizen,' Ichigo replied.

'Here's to Ichigo!' proposed Aizen.

Everyone gave cheers and began to enjoy the amazing dinner Masaki had planned. It was so amazing to have everyone together, getting along. Isshin managed to steal the spotlight telling an awful joke that of course had to elongate and drag on for dramatic effect.

'So then, the barber goes, I guess we'll just have to cut—'

Three loud knocks interrupted the joke.

'Hey, this isn't a knock, knock joke! Zaraki!' Isshin said, pointing accusingly at Zaraki.

'It wasn't Captain Zaraki honey, I think it's the door,' Masaki said looking rather concerned, 'I don't understand, who could it be?'

The knocks resumed. 'I will get it!' Pesche burst and ran for the door.

'Wait for me! I want to help! I want to get it!' Dondochakka yelled, running after him.

Ichigo frowned and looked at Rukia, 'I can't think of anyone who isn't here… Zangetsu? Maybe it is him?'

Rukia shook her head, 'no he's in Spain remember?'

'Right,' Ichigo said.

Renji noticed Rukia's unease and took her hand gently, 'maybe it is a neighbour or…'

'Mrs. Kurosaki! Mr. Kurosaki!' Pesche and Dondochakka yelled, 'I think you need to answer the door…'

'Why? What on earth is the matter?' Isshin demanded, his voice now unusually stern. Isshin and Masaki excused themselves quickly and left the table to get the door. The door close and there were voices, male voices talking. Rukia froze, what if it was Gin? No… no absolutely not…

Suddenly, Isshin and Masaki could be heard raising their voices. Heavy footsteps soon approached and two policemen soon appeared in the dining room. 'Ichigo Kurosaki?' one of them called out.

Ichigo froze and glared at them, 'I am Ichigo… to what do I owe this unwanted visit?'

'Drop the attitude,' the other snapped harshly, 'you need to come with us immediately.'

'But it's the guy's birthday,' Renji piped up trying to lighten the mood, 'I doubt he's done anything that you need to take him in right away—'

'Silence! Ichigo Kurosaki you will come with us immediately. You're under arrest for the sexual assault of Orihime Inoue. You will come with us for—'

'What?' nearly everyone in the room shouted.

'No!' Rukia objected strongly, 'how dare you come into our home and make such bold accusations!'

'You will stand down woman,' the policeman ordered her, 'Kurosaki, come with us now. Let's not make a scene.'

'I object to this, you will not be apprehending my son! What evidence do you even have?' Isshin argued.

'That is for police eyes only at this point. It is under investigation.'

'Under investigation? Then why are you arresting my son? You have no cause to.'

'The victim reported it and there ares witnesses who can testify,' the officer retorted.

'This is unbelievable! I have never touched Orihime! This is bullshit!' Ichigo burst. He got up and walked towards the officers. Once Ichigo was close enough they moved to handcuff him, pulling up the forearm of his sleeve in the process, revealing scratch marks down the inside of his arms.

'Care to explain how these marks got there?' one of the officers asked.

'I got into an altercation as it were,' Ichigo responded coolly.

'Look like self defense marks to me, perhaps from the young woman you were taking advantage of.'

'How dare you say that about my son!' Masaki hollered, 'you will unhand him!'

'Masaki, please,' Isshin said moving past her, 'I will come with you Ichigo to the police station. He is just going to answer questions correct officer?'

'He isn't coming home tonight Mr. Kurosaki,' the officer replied, clearly enjoying egging them on.

'Ichigo is innocent!' Rukia cried out, 'this is all lies! He would never do that, ever, she is making this up!'

'Rukia please be quiet!' Isshin ordered firmly. He was clearly frustrated and had no idea what the best thing to do was. 'I am coming with you. You will release my son tonight. This is all some sick joke. My son would _never _violate a woman.'

'Let's move!' the officer holding Ichigo yelled. He moved abruptly, twisting Ichigo's arms.

Ichigo let out a frustrated grunt. 'Watch it!'

'Shut your face,' the cop replied. Ichigo began to fight back only to be hit hard in the face by another cop.

'Don't touch my son!' Isshin yelled, his arms twitching but reason told him to hold back. Fighting the police would only lead to more aggravation. This was clearly a serious charge and they were not showing any signs of going easy on Ichigo.

Rukia didn't know what to do… how was this even happening… 'Wait… wait! You're making a huge mistake!' She began to follow them. 'Ichigo! Ichigo!' she ran and caught up to them and wrapped her arms around Ichigo, 'this is not true, Ichigo…'

'Rukia, I love you, don't believe anything they say. I'll be back!' Ichigo called out quickly as he was forced into the police car. 'I did not do anything! You know I am innocent!'

Isshin and Captain Zaraki headed to their cars and followed behind the cop cars, disappearing into the night. Rukia couldn't control the tears that fell from her eyes. Renji came to hold her and she hid her face in his chest. 'Renji, Renji what the hell is going on?'

'I don't know Rukia, this is just insanity.'

'He didn't do it! He would never touch Orihime!'

'I know Rukia, I know. Something is off. Something isn't right…' Renji suddenly dropped his hold on her. 'I have to go Rukia, I need to check something.'

'What? What… Renji I need you right now…'

'I know but… it's…' he looked around uncomfortably, as if afraid someone may overhear. 'I just have to go. It's important.'

'Renji what are you—'

'Just trust me Rukia.' With that Renji left Rukia alone and crying.

Rangiku quickly came up behind her and hugged her. 'Where the hell is he going?'

'I don't know and I don't care,' Rukia cried, 'oh god, Rangiku… what is going to happen to Ichigo? I can't even understand where this is coming from…'

'You said that Orihime seemed a little off… I guess we just didn't understand how off…' Rangiku noted.

As Rukia calmed herself, she looked around at the variety of expressions on people's faces. Uryuu was pacing near by, pondering to himself. Yuzu and Karin were horrified. Some people had gathered in small groups and were whispering,

'Could it be true?'

'Ichigo does have a temper on him…'

'Well he is a young male…'

Rukai found herself overwhelmed and growing more anxious by the second. 'Rangiku… can we go inside please?'

'Of course, let's go,' Rangiku said agreeing.

They walked up to Rukia's room and lay together on her bed. 'He didn't do it Rangiku,' Rukia stated strongly.

'I know Rukia,' Rangiku replied, 'don't worry. Your father and Captain Zaraki are there. They'll get him out of this mess.'

It was killing Rukia to think of the consequences… How was this fair? How could this have any truth to it? She hated Orihime. She hated the police officers. Everything was going so horribly wrong when tonight had started off so great…

_Diary,_

_My brother is innocent. I will swear my own life on that. There is no validity to any of the accusations. I'm sick with worry… I can only pray… I can only hope this is a nightmare from which I will awake. Ichigo is innocent. These claims are false. _


End file.
